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The third day of [[American Idol (2010 Series)|American Idol 2010]] auditions was held in Atlanta, birthplace of the legendary Ryan Seacrest. Once again, Kara, Randy and grumpy Englishman Simon are joined by a guest judge to help us forget about Paula Abdul – today’s guest judge is Mary J Blige.
Self-proclaimed “diamond in the rough”, Dewone chooses to sing an original composition of his, called Lady We’re Not Together Anymore. At first it sounds like he’s got a great soul pedigree and we expect great things…until the awful falsetto kicks in.
[[Simon Cowell]] knocks him back saying “it’s one of the worst original songs I’ve ever heard”. Dewone accuses Simon of knocking him off his stride, so Simon asks him to do it again without interruption. It’s consistently awful – that’s the best thing I can say about it…
Bouncy-haired Miss Congeniality, Keia, is as bubbly as her hair. She sings My Heart Will Go On for the judges – with a soulful voice. At this point in time, it’s refreshing to hear someone who can actually sing in tune! Randy: “I like the way you closed some of those phrases” [[Kara DioGuardi|Kara]]: “You’re very genuine and nice to look at when you’re performing.”
All the judges agree – Keia’s going to Hollywood. We like this girl – what a lovely personality, and she’s a cutie as well, despite what Simon says…
Sticking with the Idol plan, we see a stream of wonderful vocalists, all of whom got the much-coveted golden tickets.
Another church singer, Jermaine is also a carer for his mother, a spina biffida sufferer. He chooses to sing Joan Osbourne’s What If God Was One Of Us. Jermaine cleverly gives it an R&B reinterpretation, which is unusual and stands out a little. He’s got good potential.
Kara compliments him on his interpretation. Randy: “Best vocal we’ve seen yet. This kid is hot stuff.” Mary J: “That was incredible.” Another contestant with four yeses from the panel – he gets a “Welcome to Hollywood!”
Christy Marie Agronow
TV presenter Christy is another bubbly personality. Randy calls her a walking commercial for her radio station. She sings a Pat Benetar song – Love Is A Battlefield. It’s a bit awful, if we’re being honest. The vocal is far too overwrought for our liking.
Christy’s one of those people you’re rooting for, but she just doesn’t have the right stuff to make it in Idol. By the time she’s descended from the 27th floor, Christy is in a rage about her audition. That seems to happen a lot with auditionees who get news that they don’t want to hear!
This kicks off the reject reel – those woeful auditionees weeping on the shoulders of their entourages.
Hot girl in a bikini alert! Hot girl in a bikini! Tenessee girl, Vanessa , gives us a look inside her life. She feels trapped and wants to make something of herself. This is totally the girl from American Dreamz, isn’t it?
She’s singing a country song called Wagon Wheel. Kara: “You were a lot better than I thought you were gonna be.” Simon tells her he likes her, but “you are incredibly ill-prepared for this. It’s all about self-belief for you sweetheart.” Randy, Kara, Mary J and Simon all give her their vote – against all logic, it would seem. Simon warns her that she needs to start practising and they send her off with a golden ticket.
Three times dead (almost), down on his luck Jesse gets a full comedy segment devoted to his brushes with death, including almost getting shot by his own bullet. Got has clearly saved him for a reason…and that reason is Idol.
He auditions with The River by Garth Brooks. He struggles to remember the words. Hell, he doesn’t even seem to remember the song. The whole time, Mary J is in stitches laughing at this scrawny feller. Randy prompts him to sing If Tomorrow Never Comes, but it’s a total disaster.
Never before have I see a series of reality TV judges being so disrespectful to a contestant. And then use him as a comedy interlude.
Other people audition, but are sent away with customary rudeness from Simon, etc, etc. There were quite a few cute girls in there who also got booted. Lemme tell you, if I was on that panel, cute girls would be put through and we’d cover the cracks with Autotune. Works for Kanye, doesn’t it?
We welcome a total lunatic to the auditions – human guitar Holly She’s instantly met with a disinterested glance from Simon Cowell. You Ain’t Woman Enough To Take My Man is her audition song. Well, she’s better than Vanessa, despite the unfortunate guitar dress.
Simon describes her as “an insect singing Country & Western”. [[Randy Jackson]] tells her she’s funny, but Kara calls her “ballsy” and compliments Holly’s voice. With two votes from Randy and Kara, and a rejection from Mary J, Holly manages to play to Simon’s ego to get herself a golden ticket.
Unless she ditches that ridiculous dress, she’s dead meat at the Hollywood round.
Foxy lady Mallorie sings Take Another Little Piece Of My Heart for the judges. She’s a little uptempo on it, presumably down to nerves, but we like her phrasing. Mary J pipes up and praises Malorie’s vocals. Simon tells her he “liked the fact that you were fearless during that audition, and you didn’t let it show – you had great fun, great energy” Like, totally, Mallorie gets four yeses.
Mallorie, you’re hot. Just FYI.
Antonio “Skii Bo Ski” Wheeler
Squeaky-voiced R&B singer/Akon knockoff has unnatural confidence in his talents. He sings I Heard It Through The Grapevine for the judges. He gets the judges pumped with his performance.
Simon: “To be honest with you, the outfit kinda put me off, the singing was terrible.” Kara: “You really had a good voice.” Mark J “Image-wise, if you can make that match what your vocal is doing, you’re gonna be alright”. Simon rejects him, but the other judges put him through to the Hollywood round. They’re hoping that he’ll leave the wack costumes at home next time.
Dude needs to start talking sense though.
Lauren Sanders and Carmen Turner
Slightly weird-looking duo Lauren and Carmen are best buds and choose to audition at the same time. Lauren is soft-voiced, but unremarkable, while Carmen has a much stronger voice. Simon, unforgivably, recommends that they form a group.
The judges note the discrepancy and put Carmen through to Hollywood while Lauren is sent home. I’ve never seen a golden ticket winner walk out crying tears of sorrow before. The girls are devastated, and Simon knows they’re putting the girls in an awkward position. However his damage limitation – that he wouldn’t have put Lauren through either – doesn’t help matter much!
Some bad auditions next, and the judges give us a masterclass in looking like they’ve lost the will to live. Even an “Oh GOD!” escapes from Mary J’s mouth, while Simon looks positively suicidal.
Local copper Bryan chooses to sing Superstar and impresses the judges with a powerful and passionate voice. We didn’t expect this from a slightly geeky looking guy. Randy notes this “You look nothing like what you sing like.” The judges put him through to the Hollywood round as Seacrest quips that he’s never seen a police officer excited to get a ticket.
Lamar wastes no time in deafening the judges with a decibel busting rendition of Seal’s Kiss From A Rose. Randy describes it as tortuous. There’s a huge communication problem between Lamar and the judges. He ignores Randy and Kara until Mary J jumps in and tells him to effectively shut the f*ck up!
For the guy who said he was ready to listen to criticism, Lamar refuses to stop singing and eventually security is called to remove him. He spends his descent in the elevator cursing everybody, including Mary J Blige, who he’d claimed was a legend.
Oh, he’s gonna regret that little display of temper. Oh, Lamar, what did you think you were doing?
We’re slightly worried about General Larry’s performance when he walks on. He declares he’ll be singing his own song Pants On The Ground. There’s no denying the old guy’s energy, and he has the judges in stiches. Simon’s hit-radar is twitching, and he says “I have a horrible feeling that this could be a hit.”
Cowell goes on to say that this may not be the last we hear of General Larry Platt. I just hope he holds off releasing the single until the American Idol winner’s single comes out! We smell a Facebook campaign coming on…
Best of the night?
To wrap it up, we thought Mallorie Haley and Officer Bryan Walker were the best auditionees of the night. Larry Platt was the funniest performance (hope he releases that song!), and Lamar Royal was most definitely the most aggressive auditionee of the evening.
Who were the standout performances for you on tonight’s audition show?