Oh, producers of [[American Idol (2011 Series)|American Idol]], you cruel, cruel bunch of people. As Hollywood week enters the groups stage, we see the Day 1 survivors starting to create their own groups in order to get a head start on the Day 2 people. But producer Ken Warwick puts the kibbosh on that smart idea by insisting that each group has a mixture of Day 1 and Day 2 contestants!
Cue much frustration among the auditionees as they hustle to get a good mix of singers for their groups. One guy realises he’s in the same group as Brett “I Won’t Be Bullied” Loewenstern and quietly slips away to join another group. I just realised that Brett sounds like a character from Family Guy!
This is the bitchy part of American Idol that I love – when they throw people who are in the competition for individual fame together and make them work as groups! Let’s face it, these singers audition to become an American Idol – why should they be made to sing in groups? Because it shows their ability to work with other people! Look how many duets and collaborations are littering the pop charts these days – if you can’t work with other people, you can’t work in this industry!
Let’s continue laughing at the carnage that was Hollywood Week Groups Round…
Elsewhere, walking egomaniac Tiffany Rios is stunned that no-one wants her in their group. “I’m the only professional choreographer in this place and no-one wants to have me?” she whines, clearly not realising that her outburst on stage last week did not earn her any friends. If you remember last week’s Idol, Tiffany told the judges that she was tired of seeing people trying to do what she knew she could.
Hilariously, she tries to join forces with Scotty McCreery, but when he asks to hear her sing (a reasonable request), Tiffany gets offended that he thinks he’s the big star. Scotty, earning major kudos in my book, tells her “I don’t need this right now,” before wandering off and muttering to the camera, “I’m trying to get through to the next round.” Brilliant.
The tables get turned on fussy Scott a few minutes later when he tries to audition for Jordan Dorcey’s group. He sings Your Man (again?) for them, but faces hostility from a mostly pop/R&B group. Jordan’s pissed off at having to split up his Day 1 group. Enter Shane Goldman, who impresses Jordan with a smooth voice.
Jordan later has a minor implosion as he starts questioning the song choice. He leaves his original group and joins one with Robbie Rosen. We’ll be keen to see if he’s made the right choice.
Scotty McCreery finally settles in a group with Clint Jun Gamboa and Jacee Badeaux. It’s an unlikely mix, and Clint The Junbug isn’t happy about extending his group any further. Shockingly, the group (The Guaps) kick out teenager Jacee Badeaux – and the devastated teenager finds himself out in the cold. Jacee eventually joins Brett Loewenstern’s group.
We see a group of young auditionees (and their crazy mothers) called The Minors. Yes, the stage moms goof around for the cameras when they’re not giving their kids directions. And in a rival group, The Deep Vs, James Durbin comes across as sullen as he realises the kids are strong competition. What a moaner.
Former couple Rob Bolin and Chelsee Oaks team up with Jacqueline Dunford for a trio called Three’s Company. But Jacqueline grumbles that Rob’s not a great dancer. Rob feels left out anyway and declares himself screwed.
Later on, Rob has a bit of a strop about having to do a dance routine. He’s not a happy bunny.
And manic New Jersey auditionee Ashley Sullivan joins a group of girls known as The Hits. We see Ashley at a really low ebb – for all those zany highs in first auditions, it was inevitable that she’d be someone who suffers major lows. Ashley’s clearly crashed under the pressure, so she goes to talk to her boyfriend. She eventually rejoins the group – but they’ve been practising for ages without her. Will Ashley rejoining drag the quality of their performance down?
Oh, the drama! This is what I love about Hollywood Week! We’re done with the car crash American Idol for the moment – but stay tuned as we give you the low-down on all the group performances!