American Idol Season 9 – The Road To Hollywood

It’s almost over, folks! The excruciating auditions round for the 9th season of [[American Idol (2010 Series)|American Idol]] ends tonight. After this, we’ll zoom ahead to Hollywood and the final 24. If you’ve been reading Stevie’s blog posts on American Idol, you’ll know that he’s been mightily hard on the exploitative nature of the auditions. I’ve gotten a little tired of that element as well.

The “Road To Hollywood” episode kind of mops up some of the auditions we haven’t seen yet along the way and shows us some promising talent for the Hollywood rounds. And ironically, the episode probably introduced us to some of the strongest contenders of the series so far.

Jessica Furney

Jessica sings a Leona Lewis song – Footprints In The Sand – that we sensationally discover [[Simon Cowell]] was a co-writer on. This is way more important than how Jessica can actually sing – and the judges absent-mindedly give her four yeses. Mostly so they can get rid of her and continue gazing in disbelief at the fact that Simon can actually write songs.

Well, real Simon Cowell fans will know that he’s credited as the co-writer on the theme tunes of both [[Britain’s Got Talent (TV Series)|Britain’s Got Talent]] and [[The X Factor (UK TV Series)|The X Factor]]. So there!

Amanda Shectman

Amanda does a fantastic Britney Spears impression for [[Ryan Seacrest]] in the Idol holding area. Thankfully, she adopts a richer, more soulful voice for her actual audition. Although [[Kara DioGuardi]] says she needs to work on her expression, Simon somehow manages to sway things in her favour – Amanda gets through to Hollywood, with the promise that she’ll work on interacting with her audience.

Lee Dewyze

Next up is sales clerk Lee Dewyze, who abandons his guitar to audition with a classic Ain’t No Sunshine. He’s got a face that looks like an internet avatar. He’s also got a golden ticket to the Hollywood round.

Lacey Brown

Lacey is one of those serial auditionees who got herself to Hollywood last year. Though she got bumped before the final 12, Lacey wows the judges and gets herself another ticket to Hollywood.

Stephanie Fisher

Talkaholic Stephanie rambles over a very long VT about the number 7, her love of Victoria Beckham (who she calls her Idol), and a crush on Simon. She walks in for her audition in an outfit that borders on ill-advised – it’s pretty sexy, but she just doesn’t have the curves to fill it out. Randy jokes that he was going to wear the very same thing today!

She half-mauls Elvis Presley’s Fever, drawing disparagement from Simon – he tells her she can’t sing. He comes round for a second attack – “your voice is horrible”. On the plus side, she gets a reassuring hug from Victoria and Kara. Stephanie leaves before the judges even give their verdict, leaving Simon a bit miffed about the “yes-ing and the no-ing”!

Rachel Hubbard and Thaddeus Johnston get some brief screen time – both with impressive vocals and high praise from the judges.

Self-described “beautiful man-flower”, Blondezilla or to give him his real name, Adrian Chandtchi, sings an Elvis song in a ridiculous falsetto. It doesn’t help that he’s freakishly tall and squeaks like a mouse. He reminds me of Meat Loaf’s character in Fight Club.

Michael Lynche

If Michael didn’t have a sob story before he auditioned for American Idol, he does now. Apparently, he got booted out of the competition after his father went to the press to announce that Michael was in the Final 24 this year. This broke a fundamental Idol rule, and Michael was swiftly booted from the show.

Tonight, we get to hear him singing – and getting a full pass from the judges through to Hollywood. It all ends sadly, as we all know. I wonder if that bit’ll be screened?

Didi Benami

22 year old waitress, Didi Benami, is auditioning in tribute to her friend who died a few years ago. She opts to sing Hey Jude for the judges. I should mention that she’s gorgeous. The voice is fine too, I like her phrasing. But she breaks down at the end and needs to be reassured by Kara.

Randy compliments her singing “I actually thought it was really cool. You got good range, and it sounded like you had your own kind of sound jumpin’ off.” For what it matters, Avril Lavigne (in her ridiculous devil hoodie) commented “I think you have huge potential.” Someone should have made Lavigne remove that ridiculous bloody hood before going on TV.

For those of you still interested, Didi gets four yeses from the judges and skips away with her golden ticket.

Aaron Kelly

Aaron tells us a tale of how he came to be adopted, but opts to sing The Climb which is possibly the worst song in the world. I can’t help but wonder if this is the point where Simon got the idea to make it the [[The X Factor 2009| X Factor]] winner’s song for [[Joe McElderry]]. Cowell tells him it was a pretty good audition and that the mothers will like him. Randy Jackson bubbles on about how “I love everything about you. I love the fact that you’re sixteen and you’re shy.” Aaron gets four seals of approval from the judges, and loftily announces to the vox box that he wants to inspire kids someday.

Kimberly Bishop

Hippy-chick Kimberly has the haircut of a cross between Russell Brand and Cameron Diaz in There’s Something About Mary. To make it worse, she sings Katy Perry’s lesbo-tease anthem, I Kissed A Girl. She sings it weird. Very weird.

As a matter of fact, British readers should look closely at this girl, because she’s like the female version of Russell Brand’s mate, Noel Fielding. In a dress. Seriously! There’s an awkward moment where she clutches her too-short dress and an American Idol logo appears where her crotch would have been. Ewww…

The judges dismiss Kimberly. No golden tickets today, dearie…

Shaddaii Harris

We get Shaddaii’s mother making some awful claims about visions from the Lord, and how her destiny is to be a singer. And aside from all that pseudo-religious justification, Shadaii looks the part. She hasn’t got any crazy-ass nervous twitches or anything like that. Sadly, she doesn’t have a note in her head either.

She leaves Alicia Keys’ Fallin’ broken, beat and scarred on the audition room floor and has to be stopped before she commits any further crimes against pop. A classic comment from Cowell – “I can’t listen to that song anymore. I’m now allergic to that song.” Kara tells her that it wasn’t even a melody. You can guess where this is going – we won’t be seeing Shadaii in Hollywood. (Thankfully)

Hope Johnson

Lets just say that Hope is a very photogenic gal. And also the last auditionee of tonight. If we’ve learned anything from the last few weeks of auditions, we know that means Hope should be one of the best tonight.

Yep, Hope sings with a cute vocal that’s got a slight country tinge to it. Kara calls her interesting, and [[Randy Jackson]] says he loved that she picked that song. He tells her to work on her phrasing. She gets the required four yeses from the judges.

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1 Comment

  1. Joan

    If an Idol breaks the rules themselves -dismiss them. If a relative or another person breaks the Idol’s rules – SHAME on them and fine them if you will. But how dare they stop a young person’s career chances because of someone else’s greed. If the father has done this, you can be sure he has interfered in his son’s life before and it might just be a killer for him this time. To be disgraced publicly around the world because of something you DIDN’T do?????? 

    Please rethink this rule. For the sake of the psyches of these growing and hard-working young artists. I’m one myself, and I know that sometimes there is a straw that breaks the camel’s back.

    Joan

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