American Idol’s Final 24 – 17th February 2010

Janell, Tyler, Lacey, Ashley, Alex, Joe, Crystal, Katie, Lilly, Paige, Siobhan, Michelle, Jermaine, John, Haley and Mr Garcia. Front and center! Ten-HUT!

There, you can rest easy knowing that the ninth platoon of cover singers has been released from the Idol mother ship to wreak havoc on earth’s collective eardrums. I think Unreality’s sources are good, though I don’t remember seeing Chris Golightly the last two nights, maybe he’s off having breakfast at Tiffany’s.

People I’m confused about:
Who the hell is Tyler? I know I started reviewing after Boston, but I’m sure we haven’t seen him since, and he seemed like a joke entry. Read as: he was rubbish. Furthermore, why did Angela Martin NOT get in? She looked like a total skank at the audition, but glammed up a little bit and has clearly worked hard since her other two attempts. I thought her version of American Girl was the shiznitz. Much better than the totally forgettable Siobhan, Paige, etc, who not even the Idol editing team could be bothered to devote more than a few seconds to tonight. Ho hum.

People I’m sorry to see go but have no feelings on the reason:
Nikki Nix and someone I’ve come to know as Red Specky girl. They were just cute, sorry.

People I’m genuinely stoked that got through:
Lacey, Crystal and Andrew; people with solid, confident, charming and unassuming demeanors that can also sing. Mamma Sox (I really hope that’s not a play on Mamma Cass, just because Crystal has some meat on her bones) particularly has the vibe of someone who might actually produce some material of her own in the future.

I’m going to make a prediction now – These three will go very far in the comp, and I think Andrew has a shot at winning. Which is just as well, since he has somehow got the notion, along with myriad other candidates in this massive travesty of an “entertainment program”, that competing on American Idol is a viable way to provide for your family. How many times have we heard “I’m doing this for my son”, or “We don’t have much and I want to give back.” Then get a f**king J.O.B. like every other grafter on the planet, not a one in 100,000 shot of being someone that will most likely fade into the background in a year. The only reason I didn’t throw the dog at the TV when he was crying, was because he genuinely seemed to be trying to control himself, and to believe what he was saying. Anyway…. Good job, esse.

People that pissed me off:
Ellen! When are the jokey ohyoudidn’tgetthroughbutreallyyoudid, self-serving, not very funny games going to end? I think she should be horsewhipped until she has to give someone bad news, and in the form of a joke. We get it Ellen, you’re a comedian, and a good one, and you seem like a nice person, but quit the comedy for comedy’s sake, please.

People I am in love with:
Natalie Portman. Oopsies, that’s another blog.

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  1. Gerard McGarry

    I don’t know about you, but the next time someone has to give me bad news, I want Kara DioGuardi to be the person to break it to me. She’s got a fantastic way of rejecting people  – compared with Cowell’s curt “You didn’t get through, suck it up big lad. Oh, and here’s a free handshake to tell your grandkids about.”

  2. Jodiann4766

    While Angela has a good voice, I think she was eliminated because her style is just not what is current right now.  She’s of the Fantasia/Jennifer Hudson/Jordin Sparks big voice diva style.  What is popular now is the Colbie Callait, Taylor Swift folksy kind of jive, or the Pink/Lady Gaga over the top performance type of thing. 

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