Let me get something out of the way. [[Michael Lynche]] WAS indeed sitting on [[American Idol (2010 Series)|American Idol]] tonight. It looks like reports of his celebrity demise have been grossly over exaggerated. I can sleep easy.
Yet, this is not about the boys, this is about the girls, and what (at the risk of sounding like a letch) a remarkably pretty bunch. If I were a cynical man, which I am, I’d assume that they were chosen for their looks as well as talent. Ah, maybe I’m just being silly; hope springs eternal.
I have to say the nerves were getting to them, and agree with the judges in their comments about bum notes, wrong keys, soporific performances, copycatting and a bad choice of song. [[Simon Cowell|Cowell]] belabored the latter two points, and I’ve gotten over the fact that the man knows his pop, and sometimes actually talks sense; some of the decisions in this regard were poor. Indeed, even [[Ellen DeGeneres|Ellen]] gave some criticism. I think the sky might be falling.
Yet, every bloody time, the studio audience gave the contestants a rip-roaring applause. There’s no way family and friends account for all of this. The reason is simple; they’re either being nice, or have no musical sense. Guess which one I think it is. I believe I might be proved right when we get to Thursday night. Not only that, they continue to boo Cowell when he speaks the truth, and after ten years of peddling this shit and facing the same derision, he continues to respond to it.
As briefly as possible, then:
[[Paige Miles]] – too much Mariah Carey action at the end. Should definitely have taken that piss she needed beforehand.
[[Ashley Rodriguez]] –lot of plosives (the popping sound when one pronounces a P), very breathy, some shitty notes. Pretty ending, though.
[[Janell Wheeler]] –Not a great song, bum notes, no power, excruciating moments.
[[Lilly Scott]] –Dresden Dolls type of sound. Sounds good, one slightly bad note.
[[Katelyn Epperly]] – Very good. Loved the big red lips for some reason. That girl looks way older than 19, or maybe I’m projecting…
[[Haeley Vaughn]] –Made the song her own, but was all over the place. Kara is right about the technical issues.
[[Lacey Brown]] – Euuggghhhh. Lacey, why oh why did you do this song? Please vote for her, people! I really think she can do better. (God, what has Idol done to me?)
[[Michelle Delamor]] –good singing, bad song. Best way I can describe it is “Meh”.
[[Didi Benami]] –“I’m sure America has seen enough of my tears”. Yes, and the rest of the world, Didi. Still, they tarted her up all nice. Stood there all boring. No likely, but technically good.
[[Siobhan Magnus]] – Completely forgettable, except for the fact that she’s a glassblower’s apprentice. There’s a joke in there somewhere.
[[Crystal Bowersox|Mama Sox]] –Despite being another idiot who sees Idol as a job for her family, I thought she nailed it. Best of the night.
[[Katie Stevens]]– Double “Meh”
All in all, the night was pretty painful. The best part was the jolly little clip of Cowell feeling Ellen’s leg; reminded me of the old Pop Idol/Ant n’ Dec days, whenever I dragged myself in front of the TV to watch it. No, I wasn’t a fan then, either.