American Idol’s Sixth Elimination (Final 9) – 31st March 2010

After the nauseating product placement of the opening credits/Clash of the Titans trailer mash-up, a big bloke named after a sandwich comes on and does his best Marvin Gaye impression. You might have picked this up over that last few weeks, but I’m not a fan of the show, and Wednesdays are worse than Tuesdays.

Still, I’ve learned to get over the Ford commercials and just shrug at the forced hilarity of it. Although, I do have one complaint: No one roundhouse kicked Didi in the FACE!

I’ll ignore the extra premiere shit and talk about the elimination: [[Lee DeWyze]]. I severely doubt it… thought so. [[Casey James]]. Judging by the screams, I don’t think so. [[Aaron Kelly]]. I hope not, but… 

Seacrest asks Cowell for advice again and is rebuffed. Cowell is a twat.

…and he’s safe. [[Siobhan Magnus]] and [[Katie Stevens]]. Katie must be in the dreaded three for sure. Ooh, did I call it or what?

Man, Seacrest is just going after Cowell when he’s being a cock. 

and who the hell is Justin Bieber?

and why the hell is Usher dressed like a monochromatic Orangeman?

and why is Will.i.am wearing a skirt? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

[[Didi Benami]]. Oh please, oh please, oh please. Yes! [[Michael Lynche]]. Not a chance. Good joke, Seacrest. [[Crystal Bowersox]]. The woman is untouchable. [[Tim Urban]] and [[Andrew Garcia]]. You’re done, Tim. Yep, right again.

Now, it’s really between Didi and Tim. Big surprise, and believe it or not, I’d take Tim for another week before I’d take Didi.

So, why did they find it necessary to warn us about the ineffective strobe performance, and not that of an absolute twat that built his career on the murder of his friend? Yes, that is Sean Combs, a.k.a Puff Daddy, a.k.a. P. Diddy, people, the dude that used to beat up Jennifer Lopez, even though he’d have you believe that he’s called Diddy Dirty Money. Yes, America, he’s a cock.

OK, finally – Yea-hes! Sing for it, Didi! Oh God, they look like they’re going to save her! Oh, thank God.

Weird. She appears to be crying. Yep, Didi is eliminated.

She said she wants people to be moved the way that she is moved. Sorry, but if that came true, world productivity would cease.

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