The last of the America’s Got Talent auditions takes place right here.
An enthusiastic looking little Asian guy comes on the stage. He starts by asking the audience to laugh slowly and clearly because he’s Vietnamese. A rowdy section of the audience starts to boo him and he loses his cool. Piers buzzes him and the boos get louder. Then Sharon and Howie follow suit.
Howie advises him to work on his act and Sharon agrees that he needs to improve. They both say no. Piers – inexplicably, since he gave the hecklers legitimacy – decides to say yes to him.
The Belly Dancing Duo
An inventively named belly dancing duo come on stage next, earning an early yes from Piers without actually doing anything. Their act is stunning, sexy and more sexy. I’m not normally into bellydancing, but these voluptuous ladies looked hot. So hot that Howie was stuck for words.
Howie: “Both of you are so…so…talented. You’re overflowing with talent.” Sharon: “You’re great looking women and it’s fantastic that you can belly dance so well.” Piers: “I could have watched that literally for months. Three yeses.”
- Lindsey Stirling – a punky-looking young woman who plays hip-hop violin. She puts on a lively show, working the stage as she fiddles for us. Three yeses from the judges.
- Team X-Pogo – yes, acrobatic pogo jumpers. These dudes jump to some serious heights, somersaulting on their sticks. They finish with a tops-off finale. And they’re through to Vegas.
- The Maniacs – “A group of guys from all walks of life who come together in the name of dance.” Not the best dance crew you’ll ever see, but an inventive backing track and the inclusion of a dwarf guy make this unmissable. They’re through!
Clownvis: The King Of Clowns
An Elvis-looking clown who takes his act “very seriously” and says he’ll win the hearts of America. He’s essentially a children’s entertainer. Piers spots this straight away and when he starts “Old MacDonald”, Sharon and Howie add their buzzes.
He makes himself unpopular by taking pops at the judges and makes a quip about Ozzy that has Sharon reaching for the swear box. And Nick Cannon rolling up his sleeve for a tussle. This is the guy who told Howie he hasn’t done anything good since Little Monsters. This guy wants to go down in flames, doesn’t he?
- Andrew and Sumo Champs – We get a sumo fighting exhibition from Andrew and his friends which fails to impress. The judges send them home.
- The Tap Dancing Sarah Palins – two scrawny women who want to cash in on last year’s Sarah Palin pop culture madness. Howie buzzes on the basis of the unsanitary bear shitting behind them.
- Frequent Flyers Productions – or five girls hanging upside down from a washing line. Even Howie decides to have a go. So it’s not that hard, and it’s not going to Vegas.
Rick Smith Jnr
Rick’s a card thrower, and he enlists Nick Cannon to help him out. Nick holds a stick of celery. Rick throws the cards at the celery so hard that it gets chopped up. Amazing. The judges send him on through to the Vegas auditions.
Phil’s a 74 year old tap dancing veteran. He’s dancing to give his wife a facelift. I think I shed a tear or two over that story. He does a very old school routine that takes a while to get going, but at its best becomes lightly acrobatic. And he finishes with the splits.
Piers: “When I buzzes you I thought it was going to stink. And then it was like the buzzer was like viagra going through you. I’m going to have to take back my X” Howie: “You dazzled me. You are a superstar Phil.” Three yeses.
Filipino singer Luigi comes along with his parents. The audience go wild for the song, and they love his voice when he sings. He’s unexpectedly good. No gimmicks, no special costumes, just an exceptional voice and a guitar.
Sharon: You have a really cool, relaxed style. Howie: You were kind of shy and as soon as you started strumming on that guitar, you opened up. Piers: It’s not just that you’re a good guitar player…you’ve got this charm about you which I think is going to go a long way. Three yeses.
Arthur wants everybody to learn that they can do what he does. Which is something in a multi-instrumentalist vein. It takes him 3 hours to build his equipment…for a 90 second performance. Piers looks bored already. He’s so impatient.
When Arthur eventually starts, it’s like one of those mad professor gizmos. Everything’s connected with pedals and strings and little beaters. It’s so terrible, it’s funny. Sharon says “I think that you’re a very very lovely man.” Howie says no and gets booed. Sharon gives him a yes. Piers…”I’m not gonna pretend that you’re the best musician I’ve ever seen. But for sheer dedication and hard work, I’m gonna send you to Vegas.” There you go guys, your last America’s Got Talent act of the evening.
The episode wraps up with a montage of all the acts we’ve loved and laughed at throughout the series. From the gross to the grotesque. I’ve loved watching these auditions – they’ve been full of variety and fun and often complete stupidity. Here’s to the Vegas round!