Word has it that tonight’s Big Brother highlights will show us the housemates starting to implode in a big way. Bugger. I missed the start! Can you believe that?
So, to kick off, [[Govan Zachariah Hinds|Govan]] is in the Diary Room telling Big Brother he wants to leave. He’s subdued and morose and wants to leave. Big Brother advises him to speak to a fellow housemate about this, and he suggests [[Corin Forshaw|Corin]] might be good to talk to. He meets [[Ife Kuku|Ife]] on the way out of the Diary Room and she tries to help.
[[Shabby Katchadourian|Shabby]] sometimes looks like a squashed down Noel Fielding. She’s talking to Caoimhe in the garden. Mild flirting ensues. I kind of hope Shabby turns her, just out of boredom. You know, for something to do.
[[Caoimhe Guilfoyle|Caoimhe]] decides that she’s not worried about the outside world right now.
[[Ben Duncan|Ben]], [[Dave Vaughan|Dave]], Sunshine and some of the others are talking about how the outside world perceives the various groups in the house. Yes, factions are forming. Ben claims [[Steve Gill|Steve]] for ‘their’ group, and they name Shabby’s crew the Addams Family.
[[Sunshine Martin|Sunshine]]’s veganism gets briefly examined. And it seems that she’s full of crap.
Govan chats to Corin about his issues that have sprang out of nowhere. He tells her he’s worried about how he’ll be seen on the outside – apparently the black community are super judgemental. Shame on you, black people of England. I don’t understand where this new, sullen Govan came from – did I miss something? He’s doing a convincing impersonation of someone who’s in turmoil. Brilliantly, Corin hits him back with her own personal experience of going from being married to being in a relationship with a woman and the judgements she faced. I love this girl.
He cries, she comforts him, I feel it’s fishy he won’t hold her gaze. Sign of a liar, you know.
[[Josie Gibson|Josie]] asks [[John James Parton|John James]] what smells worse, his feet or his breath? She’s the new David Frost with that amazing interview technique. Something happens – sorry, I got bored for a minute – and the next thing you know, Psycho John re-emerges and points his daggers at Josie.
Yes, John goes mental about something trivial with Josie. He has a good old bitch to his yes men. Josie gives him merry hell with the classic “Rachael’s gone now, it’s my turn now, is it?” Brilliant. I didn’t like Josie much before this, but she handles him like a pro. Turns his anger and his argument against him until he runs like a wuss to the Diary Room to request to leave.
I think Dom Joly was right – John James is wanted for murder in Australia and is hiding out in the Big Brother house.
Josie stands up for herself with John, and makes him look like a total sissy. He actually breaks down and cries. Dude’s got some kind of hormone imbalance. Huffy git. Looks like they might have resolved their drama though.
Govan’s drama continues in the Diary Room. He says he doesn’t want to go, but still worries about going home to his family and friends. I just don’t understand. This is his dream? His ‘loved ones’ don’t understand that?
Ben and [[Mario Mugan|Mario]] have a bitching session about the housemates. They’ve picked up on how Govan’s playing the game.
There’s a minor party for the housemates with nibbles, but no booze. They play Gaga, and her spiritual twin Sunshine goes nuts. Shabby and Caoimhe play a sucking game with jelly. There’s something sexual about it I can’t put my finger on. Ben moans about the party and claims that he doesn’t need to mind his manners at a crappy Big Brother party. Ben flips back at John James and tells him Shabby was smirking when he rowed with Josie earlier.
Dave talks about Shabby in the living room. Shabby’s hoping someone would get their boobs out. Even Sunshine, which is the most desperate you can get.
John James and Josie have a minor row in the bathroom, and Govan emerges from the toilet. The game playing is intensifying. Govan tells Shabby what Ben told John. Did that make sense? Shabby goes all-out for a confrontation, tackles Josie and John in the bathroom and they tell her she “rubbed her hands” in glee at the argument between Josie and John. Shabby’s timer starts ticking down.
Ben, stroking Dave’s arm decides to run for cover. He suggests he might be better going to bed. Too late. Shabby comes out and confronts him. “Grow the fuck up, Ben man. You’re thirty years old. Stop acting like a bell end.” Ben then whinges that John betrayed him. Is this the angstiest Big Brother ever?
Shabby accuses Ben of not being John’s friend – he wouldn’t have said something that would hurt John by telling him that. Mario tries to pretend that Ben is a nice guy and full of sweetness and light…all the time rubbing his back. Is Mario that naive, or is he just hoping to get it on with Ben? That’s a bloody weird relationship.
The girls later dissect the situation later – Shabby claiming that Mario is thinking with his cock and that their collective opinion of him has gone downhill. Mario is still touchy-feelying Ben and trying to comfort him. Mario lies that Ben’s not suffered in terms of popularity. While he touches Ben’s leg.
We end with a brilliant quote from Shabby – “People don’t hate you because you’re posh. People hate you because you’re horrible.”