Big Brother 2010 – Day 51, The Update

There’s a frenzy in the Elstree Studios compound tonight, as [[Davina McCall]] prepares to visit the housemates, and they’ve got Jedward going in for a ‘surprise’ appearance. Reassuringly, the audience boos whenever the spike-headed morons are mentioned by Davina.

It’s been a busy week, what with Laura walking out (I barely remember her walking in), Andrew bing Jack Bauer for 24 minutes and that awesome Ignore The Obvious task. And there’s one eviction and one new housemate to go in tonight.

Back to the Day 51 recap, and Josie and John James are cuddling up in bed. Dave’s exercising his lard arse. And a male model has walked into the bathroom and starts having a shower. Josie has a good, discreet ogle.

Davina presents live from the house

After the break, Davina does a piece live from the house, and the housemates do a rubbish job ignoring her. I mean, she licked John James on the face! And gave Ben some gentle shoving on his face.

Back in the Day 51 version of the house, Ben’s complaining about tampons being left around (I hate that too) and John James is talking about Josie, I think. Yes, he is. And then he pulls Andrew into the snug for a talk about their relationship. Yawn.

Luckily, the boredom is broken when a troupe of Japanese tourists bursts into the house and has their photos taken with all the housemates! Josie is mortified to be wearing only a towel at the time. The maurauding tourists break into the Diary Room as Rachel is chatting to Big Brother.

Dave and Steve’s wives come for lunch

Next up – a waiter sets a table for lunch, then Dave and Steve’s wives arrive…for lunch! The guys are sheel shocked at first, but they head out to the garden and make thinly veiled references to their wives. Dave strips his top off and does a few exercises beside the table. They are failing this task spectacularly. Oh, and Dave’s wife is really pretty, by the way. Once the ladies depart, Steve and Dave head for the Diary Room. Dave tells Big Brother “I don’t know whether to love you or hate you.”

Corin gives some of the guys fake tans. “You can never be too brown.”

Ben visits the Diary Room, where a clown is lurking behind his chair. The unsettled posh git does a pathetic job of ignoring the clown, as it bursts balloons and sprays gunky liquid at him. Ben can’t hold a conversation with Big Brother for all the crap being thrown at him! Love it!

And Jedward are outside the house with Davina. Grrrrr.

Tiresome Mario gets annoyed because Ben asked Andrew a James Bond question. He huffs off to the Diary Room to moan. He’s grumbling about the possibility of sitting beside his grandfather is playing on his mind. Big Brother more or less kicks him out and tells him to “focus on his time in the house”. The whinger stroppily walks through the living room and away from everybody else. John James follows him and tries to placate – bad move, Mario’s the kind of guy who sulks for attention.

Eviction, Part 1

Davina addresses the house. She’s telling the housemates who the first ‘safe’ housemates are – it’s Andrew and Dave. Well Dave, the good lord’s working for you tonight.

The crowd are chanting “Get Ben Out!” and th housemates have rather clearly heard them. Oh dear. Looks like the plummy-voiced bore is getting sent home.

Eviction, Part 2

Ben and John James are the two remaining housemates. The crowd go wild for John James. And yes, Davina reveals that Ben Duncan is the next evictee. Now, do you think Mario will become depressed in light of this?

Ben, with his hair higher than ever before and a dapper suit, walks out to a severe booing. He tells Davina that he’s had a laugh inside the house, but says he’s got loads of friends on the outside that he’s been missing.

Looking at his ‘best bits’, you have to admit Ben’s been an entertaining housemate. Not always a likeable housemate, but he’s certainly been one of the most memorable players from this year’s Big Brother.

Davina’s rather light grilling goes on to look at Ben’s effect on the ladies. And with Mario. He admits to fancying Rachel, despite having seen her nominate him five minutes before. And he claims he has no intention of pursuing her out of the house – “I think my crawling days are over.”

On Mario – he says that Mario showed him a lot of kindness. Davina comments on how tactile the guys in the house are this year, and he relates how his father brought him up that way.

Did Ben join Big Brother to further his career in the media? No, he thinks BB can close as many doors as it opens. He says he was at the end of his twenties and needed to do something radical.

New housemate: Sam

A new housemate is thrown into the house, Sam. He’s wearing a hat with a big sign saying “New Housemate” and a t-shirt saying “Ignore me”. He sits in the living room for a second or two, then he’s called into the Diary Room. His interview with Big Brother is broadcast to the rest of the house. He doesn’t say anything particularly controversial though.

Disgusting Jedward plug

This is both annoying and disgusting. Channel 4 have allowed John and Edward Grimes to perform their new single in the Big Brother garden. The only two people to receive the same level of booing from the Big Brother audience as Ben tonight, by the way.

The housemates make a fatal error though, they crowd to the makshift stage and watch the performance. Jedward are idiots, by the way. I cannot count the ways I loathe those two morons. Gimps. Everything that’s wrong with pop culture today and they’re running around th house poking people in the arm.

So stupid, so monumentally dumb are these two, that they actually activate a fire alarm and can’t find the exit from the house. Imbeciles.

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