Welcome to Unreality Shout’s second Britain’s Got Talent liveblog post for this week of semi-finals. If you haven’t read our coverage of last night’s episode, it’s here.
Argh! My eyes! Too. Many. Stripes. This is a fun act, and I loved them first time round. I like the candy/sugar theme – that’s a clever concept, but there are simply too many people in this act. It’s almost over-indulgent how many dancers they’ve tried to cram onto the stage here.
Piers: Compared to what we saw in the audition, it was in a different league altogether. Loved the smiles on all your faces, you’re one of the happiest troupes I’ve ever seen. Amanda: It was really animated, really colourful. Because there’s such a lot of you, it actually works better for me for each of you to have a turn. Simon: I stand by what I said in the first audition. It was all over the place. It was all totally mad, but I also thought it was totally brilliant.
My rating: 6/10 At least they had fun!
He’s big, he’s bald, he’s getting a bit fed up with the doorman lifestyle. So big Neil Fullard fancies his chances as a crooner instead. He’s scrubbed up a bit from his first audition – his chin’s bald too! He walks on singing Sinatra’s That’s Life, and it could be a karaoke disaster, but he carries it off rather well. A few tuning problems in places, but you have to love the glint in his eye.
Piers: I couldn’t help but notice in today’s newspapers that if Simon criticised your performance tonight, you and your mates would come and sort him out. Simon: If you think that kind of threat makes any difference to me…I thought it was absolutely fantastic. Frank Sinatra is my favourite artist in the world…you’ve got to have believability, cool and swagger…there’s something about you that makes it special Amanda: I was incredibly nervous for you. What I love about you is that you’ve got this tough exterior, but you’re all mushy inside.
My rating: 7/10
The Ruby Girls
Sassy dance troup who perform in high heels. The judges are pouring major cold water on their act – but it’s going to be hard to succeed in a dance-heavy competition this year. Oh dear. It’s got all the hallmarks of a badly-coordinated stripper routine. That’s not to say the girls themselves aren’t sexy, but the routine’s a complete mess.
Piers: Although you weren’t the best technical dancers and you weren’t completely in sync, given what you were wearing, I don’t really care. Amanda: I’ve always said there’s room for a sexy Hot Gossip type of act. I love the fact that you’re so sexy and sassy but not in a way that’s threatening to women. Simon: Girls, my honest opinion is you’ve got all this wrong tonight. I didn’t like the outfits, girls are going to hate you. I thought it was very Cabaret.
My rating: 5/10
Wannabe boyband who’ve been tasked with reinventing themselves. The fact that they played Justin Beiber over their intro video is not lost on my – clearly Simon’s trying to make a ‘connection’. I don’t recognize the song, but there are a few rough spots in the vocal harmonies. Some of the solo vocals are quite good though, and the routine seems to tighten up toward the end. I think these guys have a good shot at getting through tonight.
Piers: I thought for quite a while you could be dark horses…I saw something in your audition that reminded me of a very young Take That. It wasn’t perfect, some of the solos weren’t great, but there were moments that were absolutely knockout. Amanda: I honestly think that you are showing us the future this evening. Your voices all came together well…your styling’s much better. I just think ker-ching. Do you Simon? Simon: Tonight, I was worried you’d come back in suits singing a Boyzone song. I know how hard it is to sing on one of these shows. This is chalk and cheese compared to what I saw before. You’ve got a real shot now.
My rating: 7/10 Rooting for them, but they’ve still got room for improvement.
Kev’s one of the acts tonight who really needs to bring something massive tonight. He gave a whimsical, funny routine the first time round, but now the crowd are baying for more…Cowell calls him a one-trick pony.
He’s pretending to be Armenian again…with a song dedicated to Amanda. Cowell loses patience in the first 10 seconds and buzzes. Piers follows soon after. In fairness to Kev, he takes the distraction of the buzzers with good grace and even ad-libs his ending for a half-funny moment.
Piers: I really like you, you’re a great character. The problem is that once we know the surprise…it’s not as funny. It was a great twist in the audition. Tonight, it became a rather cheesy karaoke thing. Amanda: I do feel disappointed. You’re a brilliant pianist…you have great charm, but tonight was a bit of a disappointment. Sorry. Simon: It’s a one trick pony act. I really feel for you Kev, but the act was so corny, so painful to watch and listen to. In the real world, nobody would actually listen to that.
My rating: 3/10 That fell flat, didn’t it?
Michael and Michael Fayombo
This father and son Michael Jackson act bored me to tears first time around, and it’s no better this time. They’re simply not tight enough to be performing at this level. And I’m sorry My Fayombo Senior, but I’m mostly looking at you, mate. I’m so tired of Michael Jackson rip-offs after a full year of it. It’s boring now.
Piers: Michael Senior…that probably is the problem. They’re actually cheering at your son. As a father of three sons myself, I’d like nothing better than to join them in a dance routine. I thought you were a comedy act. Amanda: Michael Senior, I was worried you weren’t going to get back up off your knees. I think you look tired this evening and your son stole the show. Simon: I just thought the routine was a bit mad…you didn’t make the best use of the music. It was like Michael Jackson’s greatest hits – all of them – in one minute.
My rating: 3/10 The kid had the right look, but yaaaawwwwnnnn.
Tina and Chandie
Can Chandie pull off another amazing performance? Our hopes are high for an act that’s neither singer nor dancer.
Wow! These two are better co-ordinated than some of the human acts that’ve been tonight. And isn’t it lovely to see such synergy between a human and an animal? Truly one of the most heartwarming moments on this show.
Piers: What do you say? I was watching, seeing great footwork, incredible natural talent. Chandie is the canine version of Wayne Rooney. Amanda: Honestly, it was fantastic. I can feel myself welling up because of the affection I can see between you. Simon: I love her. What I would like to see is…would she do the ballet thing again, should she get through to the finals? It just shows you how important it is to love a dog, because that dog will love you back.
Brought to you by the crack talent-spotting duo Piers and Amanda, Maxxie Oliver returns to the stage with his Gaga tranny act. Alex Reid is watching avidly, no doubt. It’s performances like this that make me wish we could vote some of the judges off. Look at Piers, gleefully lapping up this kitch, tacky mess. The dude can’t even sing. It would almost be better if he was miming. And once again, BGT compensate for the lack of actual talent by providing a big stage number.
The crowd are actually booing.
Piers: You definitely left me feeling quite Gaga. There were some issues with the singing and the keyboard playing. But in terms of the production and the amount of effort you put into that outfit… Amanda: I think there’s been an improvement. The production is fantastic. There were a few tuning issues with the voice, but I like of like the idea of a story from Lady Gaga to Maxxie Oliver. Simon: I’m going to leave the studio in a moment to go home, because I thought yesterday was surreal, but watching you with those two fried eggs on your chest… don’t know what to say anymore.
My rating: 1/10
I’m gonna have a final word on this Maxxie Oliver guy. I’ve got nothing against drag acts and this is not homophobic commentary, but there’s just no humour in this guy’s act. He seems to take himself far too seriously and I don’t like it. I mean, it’s a straight copy of Gaga’s fashion and a reasonable approximation of her dance routines, but he has no idea about musicality at all. And this would have been so much better if he’d had a tongue in cheek attitude instead of a rather thin-lipped “story of my journey from Gaga to Max Oliver”. Does he have no idea how ludicrous that sounds?
Not as strong a show tonight. I’d predict Connected, Neil Fullard and Tina and Chandie to be in the running to progress. Far too many pointless acts that weren’t remotely entertaining. Simon, have a word with Morgan and Holden, would you?