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Tonight’s [[Celebrity Big Brother (2010 Series)|Celebrity Big Brother]] opens with what looks like Stephen Baldwin trying to brainwash Alex Reid into his Christianity cult. In fact, 80% of tonight’s episode is dedicated to Katie Price’s cross-dressing tabloid whipping boy. But more on that later…
Before we come to that, Vinnie and Stephanie are having a bitch about Katia for hugging up to Jonas. Not that Vinnie cares about Jonas’s feelings – he describes the Swedish chart-botherer as irritating. But they acknowledge that there’s clearly a game plan forming in Katia’s head.
The increasingly inappropriately-named “Lady” Sovereign is in the Diary Room, examining why she’s unpopular in the house. She reveals a secret desire to get in Vinnie’s good books, because of a shared love of football? Really?
Heidi cross-examines Alex’s motivation for being with Jordan. She says it’s clearly because Jordan’s famous. It’s such an in-depth grilling, he claims he’d die for her, but then admits they’ve only been together for six months. He claims the fame thing isn’t what interests him, but Heidi raises the fact that she caused the breakdown of her marriage with a guy every mother and girlfriend in the country loves. She stops short of calling damaged goods. Which she is, obviously.
Vinnie has a heart to heart with Sov in the kitchen. He asks her how she feels about being nominated, and then gives her the home truth – “You need to pick it up a bit, babe.” He tells her to calm down, not be so irritable and to participate more. Vinnie wins brownie points for this, because as much as he likes to bitch behind the back, at least he said this to Sov’s face. Respect.
Later, Vinnie and Alex have a training session in the garden, while Heidi almost sings “the ballad of Vinnie” in the livingroom, picking words like ‘awesome’ from her mental thesaurus. Like I’m in a position to criticise!
Heidi’s prison adventure…
Heidi talks a little bit about her time in prison. She talks about prison weapons, drug smuggling and shit in the showers, and prisoners who made sex toys from denture cream. Crazy stuff, but interesting that Vinnie has the magic touch to get people to open up about themselves.
The Alex Reid Show, Part 2
Alex is getting cross-examined in the living room (again) about admitting he’s gay in an interview. Stephen tells him to stop saying stupid stuff to the press. He tells Alex that he’s making an arse of himself, and Stephanie says that she thinks he plays up to his media image. Vinnie adds to this by telling him that he couldn’t be in a movie with him, and Stephen asks him if he has psychological problems or something!
Silent Dane chimes in and says that Alex has an opportunity to be known for something other than cross-dressing or being Jordan’s boyfriend. Although Dane doesn’t mention Jordan by name – has he been warned about revealing personal stuff by Price as well?
It was an uncomfortable and humbling moment for Alex, stuck in a room with a bunch of people who were refusing to believe his bullshit. You can say what you like to a journalist and get it printed, but in real life people won’t accept it. For me, Alex is definitely out of his depth with his level of fame – he doesn’t know what he wants from fame, so he’s playing the Katie Price game: outrageous statements to the press in order to get attention, but there’s nothing of substance behind anything the couple comes out with. I’d like to see someone ask him whether he’s in it for the fame or if he hopes to achieve something at the end of it all.
If he doesn’t have an endgame for this, he’s an idiot.
Got (corned) beef?
Stephanie and Vinnie are sitting in the snug, but getting increasingly irate with Sov as she tantrums about corned beef. Vinnie throws his dummy out of the pram with regards to food rations and tells Sov to get on with it herself then.
Invisible Dane visits the Diary Room to sort out the food ration situation. But he’s obviously sad and admits to being in the background quite a bit. However, he doesn’t stop long with Big Bro, because his “potatoes are getting burned”. For a moment, we like him again. I really thought he was a complete arse before this series. Now I know I don’t know enough about him to judge either way.
This leads to Vinnie shouting at Nicola, Nicola telling Dane and Dane storming out to sort things out with Vinnie. Vinnie’s in a pissy mood, so he doesn’t respond well to the challenge and sends Dane and Nicola away with a flea in their respective ears. I love how they end up having fights over tiny issues like corned beef!
Vinnie continues his tirade in the bedroom, bitching to Alex about the corned beef – and the housemates are building quite a case against Sov. Will the public pick up on this and vote her out on Friday (oooh, tomorrow!)? I think so. Alex has a chat to Big Brother about the factions inside the house, but moves on to mention that his cross-examining earlier on has led him to question himself a bit more. Hmmm, not enough, I think…
More Alex Reid chat in the bedroom, as Vinnie continues to question him about his private life. He asks Alex about his decision to propose to Katie Price after she left I’m A Celebrity. He claims he was set up and that he never had any intention of asking Price to marry him. It all reeks of cover-up, especially since Reid admits she dumped him, but doesn’t discuss how the pair got back together again. Hmmm. It’s a marriage of convenience without the being married part, I’m convinced of that.
Rule Book Mastermind
Rule book expert Vinnie is revealed to be reading the Big Brother welcome pack regularly each day. Big Bro takes him into the task room for an impromptu Mastermind session – his specialised subject? The Big Brother house and its rules! Each question he answers correctly wins a prize for one of the housemates. For Stephen’s prize, Vinnie chooses a beer, but Stephen exclaims “he knows I don’t drink!” Vinnie convinces him it was an honest mistake (but doesn’t go to the Diary Room to fix it, does he?)
Alex and Stephen have an intimite discussion in the snug – he seems a little more unsure of himself in this discussion. Unfortunately, Stephen responds with evangelical gobbledygook and asks him if he’s ever said a Prayer of Salvation, inviting God to reveal himself. Not in the naked way, though. It’s not quite a Billy Graham moment, but I’m now worried for Alex’s mortal soul. Really, from celebrity nonentity to puritanical preacher? “Alex, do you reject Jordan and all her evil works?” I have no time for fundamentalists. Can you tell?
Did you enjoy seeing Alex Reid under the microscope tonight, and has it changed your opinion of the cross-dressing cage-fighting media whore? Answers on a silicone implant to the usual address. Or just leave me a comment…