Celebrity Big Brother 2010, Day 9 – The Update

Day 9 in the Big Brother house…and theslumbering celebs get woken up to some smooth tunes. I.e. not Basshumper’s. And um, what happened to the living room? It’s like a fecking thrift shop in there. Stephanie looks surprisingly at home in the antique chairs,all she needs is a trace of drool running down her chin.

The housemates are to become inmates of Big Brother’s old-folk’s home for the day. Ironically, the actual pensioners in the house get to play the part of carers. By winning this task, the housemates will win a premium food budget. Stephanie seems like she knows the drill already – she encourages Ivana to play cards and be rude to the pensioners.

The rest of the housemates are given old-folk clothes and make-up (wigs and grey beards) to complete their transformation. Lady Sovereign, disturbingly, looks very authentic as a crazy old girl. Vinnie plays the role of cranky old feller well when he complains about the tea Ivana has made for him. When he sends her off for a drink of water, the housemates take a moment to bitch about Ivana behind her back.

Countdown

The housemates get a task to play against a Countdown champion – Stephanie and Ivana, as carers, get to choose which five of the housemates will participate. Tellingly – or sensibly – they choose mostly the older housemates: Alex, Dane, Vinnie, Heidi and Stephen (for those obscure biblical names). The looks of bewilderment on the housemates’ faces are stunning.

Vinnie’s constant physical threats to Chris the geeky Countdown champ are priceless. Dane chirps in after a defeat, “We’re playing for food here, mate!” They go for a number task and (kind of) get it right. But although they participate in good humour, ultimately the hopeless housemates get thrashed by the student-type with the long hair and glasses. I’d have given Vinnie extra points for wisecracks – when beaten to the buzzer on the final question, he quips “We pressed our buzzer, but it was delayed getting to your studio!”

Liquid lunch for Last Legs

Ohmigod – Big Brother has ruled that all food for the pensioner housemates has to be liquidised. You should see the carers struggling trying to blend bread and other crap together. Dane tries to argue that it doesn’t have to be completely blended, but the nasty carers blend it really smoothly. Sisqo takes the first taste and declares “It tastes like a sandwich.”

Nicola goes to the Diary Room to complain about the carers. A heated debate begins in the livingroom with Stephanie and Ivana adhering to the rules BB has laid down. Sisqo defends them as well, saying that there’d be no point in giving them tasks if they were easy.

Nomination results

The housemates gather round the table to hear the results of the Day 8 nominations. Katia is called first, Heidi, then Lady Sovereign. Sov can’t understand why she’s been nominated.

Katia seems clued in to the fact that she’ll get booed if she leaves on Friday, while Sov was eyeballing the other housemates to see who nominated her – “They wouldn’t look at me around that table, I could see the guilty ones…”

Vinnie tackles Alex about the Peter Andre situation again – he asks what would happen if Andre went into the Big Brother house, and Reid says that it would be an opportunity for them to clear the air. But pushed further, you can see him wondering if Price will be swearing at her TV screen back home if he gives too much away. Vinnie’s not convinced and asks him what he achieved by running around the garden naked the previous night.

You can see Reid trying to work out the line between how much to reveal, how much will make the public dislike him, how much will cause him trouble with Katie Price, and not wanting to seem desperate. And in a way, you feel sorry for him, because he’s clearly not used to the media in the way that his media-hardened battleaxe is.

Stephen versus Nicola

After Nicola’s ‘words’ with Stephen Baldwin yesterday, he bitches to Vinnie and Dane about her. He calls her the pretty girl in school who everybody wants to be liked by, and says he’s wrong-footed her. He may well be in the bad books, but he was a complete arse to her yesterday and refused to admit he was wrong.

Vinnie chivalrously defends Nicola, but Stephen, with God on his side, is convinced of his own righteousness.

Dinnertime dispute

Sov has a hissy fit with Ivana for forbidding her from mixing the food together. This is NOT a good idea for the petulant popstar, considering she’s up for eviction. She gives her dinner away and storms out to the garden calling Ivana a “stupid bitch”.

Having a smoke outside with Katia, she acknowledges that she looks like a complete dick. Well, the first step is admitting you have a problem. Stephen comes out to talk to them and rambles about his ‘enemy’, though he doesn’t seem to name Nicola.

The guys – Vinnie and Dane, at least – are less than sympathetic with stroppy Sov. But later on, Ivana approaches Sov in the bedroom and makes peace with her, managing to extract an apology from the little grump. After the Sovbomb is dismantled, Basshumper corners her in the living room and asks if Katia has mentioned him to her. Sensitive bugger, always thinking of everybody else!

Puppydog Eyes

Basshumper is having a moan to Alex about Katia, but refuses to do any more about it. Katia rubs it in even more by giggling to him how much fun it would have been if they’d been sharing a bed and Stephanie or Ivana had to tuck them into bed at night. Jonas does not look amused…

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