Let’s ignore who’s #1 this week. It’ll be good practice for when this year’s X Factor alumni release their debut singles next year to the sound of tumbleweed whistling past.
Special mention to Rihanna in this edition of Chartwatch, for holding three consecutive spots in the Top Ten – two with her own singles and one as a guest on David Guetta’s record. That’s stunning by anybody’s standards, and makes me wonder if Rihanna rather than Katy Perry should be crowned Pop Queen of 2010.
- The X Factor Finalists 2010 – Heroes: Not much to say about this one. I’ve successfully managed to avoid listening to it and hope to continue this until it eventually leaves the charts.
- Ellie Goulding – Your Song: Bringing a little touch of boring to the charts, Ellie gives a deathly dull rendition of the Elton John classic. The sole uplifting moment is that little vocal run she does at the end.
- Nicole Scherzinger – Poison: Possibly the noisiest song in the charts this week. To be honest, despite a lukewarm first reaction, it’s growing on me. Might as well enjoy it while it corrodes my eardrums, right?
- Olly Murs – Thinking Of Me: No, Olly, I can honestly say that day-to-day I don’t think of you much at all.
- Far East Movement – Like A G6: Guilty pleasure? I love this. Dumb, crass, tasteless, cliched. But try and stop yourself chanting Like a G6, Like a G6 after you’ve heard this. Brilliant.
- Black Eyed Peas – The Time (Dirty Bit): Yes, the whole nation is filling gaps in conversation with ‘dirty bit’. Next Sunday I plan to invade a church, wait until the priest takes a break in his sermon and casually drop in a ‘dirty bit’. I encourage you all to do the same, YouTube it and share it here!
- Rihanna – Only Girl (In The World): This is the Rihanna I like – powerful, fun and a bit girly.
- Rihanna ft Drake – What’s My Name: The next two are songs with questions in the titles. And have Rihanna in them. Confusingly, I don’t know which of the two I’ve actually heard! I’m going to have to listen to them both side by side!
- David Guetta ft Rihanna – Who’s That Chick?: See above.
- JLS – Love You More: A passable bit very samey ballad from JLS. Might not be remembered as one of their best tunes. We’re all waiting for the next single…