John Hurt. A post-Wrestler Mickey Rourke. The new Superman. The amazing characters from Greek legends. Lots of beautiful people wearing very little. In the wake of 300’s success, what could possibly go wrong?
Quite a lot, as it happens.
Forgetting a decent story is a good start. Searching for a magic bow is exactly as exciting as it sounds.
Mythological stalwarts such as Apollo, Poseiden, Ares and Heracles are wasted as they’re left loitering in the clouds like bored teenagers- many of whom aren’t even given the courtesy of being named aloud.
By the time any action kicks in, any possibilities of feeling invested in its outcome has long evaporated, and you’re pretty much left to ooh aah at the visuals and mentally tune out during the incessantly dull talky bits. Of which there are many, and none are of any actual significance.
Speaking of insignificance, the 3D adds nothing. A few times I lifted my glasses and there was barely any difference. Until film-makers accept it’s a gimmick and make the most of it, it’s unfair to charge extra for it.