Right. Okay. Um… Yeah, this could get messy. To quote the wonderfully eloquent Neil McCormick – “Fame doesn’t mean more people like you. It just means more people have an opinion on you”. Well, Britney, this is my opinion on you and your new “song”, ‘Till The World Ends’.
I mean, look at that title. Now think of Britney. Put the two together and what to you get? I.e. – what’s the missing link? DUH. Sex. It’s so obv. You can make all the obscure connection you like, hell, you could even throw the Illuminati her way but you all know this song is all about the rumpy pumpy. Britney wants to make love “till the world ends”: I can see it now. Horrible image but still, it’s better than the image her latest album leak imposes – “I want you to turn me inside out”. Hmm… sounds painful. I think I’ll sit this one out.
Oh well, not to prejudge or anything, let’s listen, seeing as no video has been shot, and will likely as not being released just as ‘Till The World Ends’ opts to leave via the back door to the Top 40 in, hmm, let’s say, three/four weeks max?
First impressions are pessimistic. From the messy production to the constricted vocals and more particularly, her feeble attempt sounding sexy at the beginning of the song. It doesn’t so much conjure images of Britney spread-eagled over a four-poster bed wearing nothing but a see-through negligée as much as it conjures images of her crawling feebly to a dirty puddle somewhere in the desert craving for some throat lubrication.
Then, you realise that there’s a dancefloor involved. Okay, we can work with that, and it’s dancing she wants until the world ends! Oh, I see! Right, not too much of the naughty “S”-word happening then? Good, good.
And now we’re onto a big ravey bit where the “Oh, oh”s come in and everyone’s hand is magnetically drawn skyward in a fist pumping sort of manner. And this is about the time you notice the striking similarities between ‘Till The World Ends’ and Ke$ha’s ‘Blow’. It should be noted though, that both this and ‘Blow’ were written by Ke$ha, who clearly gave the inferior song to Britney, so similarities are to be expected, I suppose. Okay, Britney, I’m letting you off lightly this time.
Two thirds in, and a surprise chorus jumps into the fun. This, people, is the highlight of the song. Everything goes all ravey for a bit where Britney declares she wants to dance till the cows come home or something… oh wait… *checks title*
That’s nothing though. Yes, it is a great party tune that’ll make its way onto many a Pop Party compilation and no doubt the Now! Series, too. However, the vocals are still swimming in a sea of helium-imitating auto-tune, to the point where the imaginary question mark over Ke$ha’s head about her vocal ability has packed up shop and is now hovering very fancifully over Britney’s.
‘Till The World Ends’, together with ‘Hold It Against Me’, illustrates exactly what ‘Femme Fatale’ will be all about. In short, it’ll be nothing about femmes of the fatale variety. Sure, there’ll be danceable tunes and some great beats but it’ll be about as hollow and as void of musicianship as a dead tree.
Rating: 2.0 STARS
Download: March 4, 2011 (OUT NOW)
Featured Album: ‘Femme Fatale’