Single Review: Iyaz – ‘So Big’

I do apologise if the picture head for this posts is a little creepy. Iyaz’s head seems to have detached itself a smidgeon.

So you’ve slaved away at your workplace for what seems like one long year, and you never complained once. You’ve been an extra kind employee and an even kinder friend. You’ve kept up your appearance, crossed you T’s and dotted your I’s, tidied up after yourself, stuck to your exercise regime, and resisted the temptation of getting completely plastered on Saturday nights, because you’ve so generously offered to designate yourself as the driver.

I think we can all agree you’ve earned a break.

So you get online, book your flights – no expense spared – and get ready for that well-earned holiday you’ve been putting off. You’re going to Barbados, fantastic! You’ve got a special offer for an all-inclusive, full board deal for eleven nights in a seaside hotel, minutes from a beautiful array of Southern American architecture, busy market stalls where you can buy the freshest local ingredients, and a beach of sun-kissed sand, gently caressed by a glowing blue sea.

You can imagine it can’t you? Finally getting away from the dreary furniture of our offices and the tower-block high views over cities of congestion, accompanied by lashings of generous rain and an endless, pasty grey sky, with winds hell-bent on inverting your umbrella and wrecking up the hair you spent hours on in the morning, only to get to work and being welcomed by nothing but a sterile box with mind-numbingly tedious tasks to complain, all to the sound of tapping keyboards, a ticking clock, and occasional blip from a telephone, followed by a person’s voice introducing themselves, the company, followed by the offer of “Good morning, this is [Enter Name], how may I help you?” in that phone voice everyone does.

A holiday in the sun is quite an appealing prospect if your life is that monotonous and predictable, so it may come as a shock to find that when you get to you’re hotel, there are cicadas in the bathroom and mosquitoes everywhere, with no running water to your room and a shower that is basically a hole in the wall. To your left, a toilet that hasn’t been flushed ever but by the looks of it, it has most likely been used everyday, and to top it off, you have no windows, not even a pair of wooden boards, exposing you to the elements. Oh, and you’re mattress has a large pee stain and smells of vomit.

I’d complain.

That’s exactly what it’s like listening to Iyaz’s latest offering ‘So Big’, not because it’s euphemistic (because it’s not) but because, considering his last two singles, particularly ‘Replay’, were smothered in his home-grown island spice and finesse, transforming what would be a dire song into an enjoyable summer smash, even though it too was pretty naff from my point of view.

You see, despite him pretty much being the Credit Crunch’s answer to Akon, ‘Replay’ and ‘Solo’ has something that made them what they were; they had a certain feel of the Caribbean or the Bahamas that brought them to life above the auto-tune and clichéd/cringe-worthy lyrics. But ‘So Big’ falls at that hurdle and ends up as a tired rehash of his last two singles, with such lyrical atrocities as “Don’t care who passes my way/Rihanna or Beyoncé”. Which we all know is lies.

But if there’s one thing Iyaz and producer J. R. Rotem (HIM AGAIN?) do well, it’s providing an incredibly catchy chorus, with a huge appeal to many. But the video is a bit boring, and is a bit hard to believe, really.

Oh look, he’s basking in the sun of another Caribbean country… his videos are ALL. THE. SAME.

So now that you’ve got back from that repulsive scam of a holiday, be prepared to run into work the next day before it even has a chance to rain, happily smiling to everyone on your way. And when you get in, you can go over to your floor’s vending machine, coffee maker or water dispenser as you soothingly promise it “I’ll never leave you again, I’ll never leave you again”.

Rating: 2.5 STARS

Download: September 13, 2010 (OUT NOW)

Featured Album: ‘Replay’

Tagged under:

Log In or Sign Up

Skip to toolbar