Single Review: Justin Bieber – ‘U Smile’


Has anyone noticed a trend in what male singers sing about in there songs these days?


In the red corner we have ‘Partying’, and in the blue corner we have ‘Ladies and Shawties’, occasionaly, someone sneaks up in a third corner and tries to sell a song about how they’re “the freshest thing right now”, only to disapper to obscurity Yes, it’s true, from Sean Kingston to Usher and from J. Cole to Flo Rida, everything has been about partying and rubbin’ up da shawties in da club. Even our home-grown British acts are doing it now – Taio Cruz, JLS, and Jay Sean, whilst being mindless vacuums of talent, have all had chart success this year or late last year with their dubiously uncatchy, manufactured, shallow pop songs. I’m sorry Usher, but if you call ‘OMG’ R&B then you’re thicker than I thought. It’s pop.


So that leaves just two American mainstream solo male acts who talk about something other than making love or getting drunk like there’s no tomorrow: (feel free to laugh at this point) Eminem and Justin Bieber.


We’ll leave Eminem to rap depressingly, which is all he ever seems to do these days, oh, and remind us countless times that he thinks his last two albums were crap. So, back to Bieber, he’s stuck in neither blue nor red corner: he’s a 16-year old boy who just wouldn’t get away with singing about getting hammered or being promiscuous like his American counterparts do so thoughtlessly. He’s got to maintain some decorum in his lyrics and the way he behaves (you can laugh here too).


So that would explain why his output so far has always been about finding someone who’ll love him as he will love her and how he’ll look after that someone especially well with lots of love and devotion and zzzzzz. Pretty boring stuff, because we know looking after someone and holding them tightly should come as standard in a relationship.


But that hasn’t stopped Justin, who’s finally releasing his first UK single without the leg of another artist to supervise him while he’s out late, from putting out another wishy-washy, teenage drear-fest that his fans will lap up.


Essentially, the song is typically Justin, a slightly 50’s pop affair, with sweet, heartfelt lyrics to a loved one sung with beautiful clarity. But the chorus just goes to show how he’s not exactly the next Michael Jackson – “You smile/I smile”.


WHAT!? THAT’S IT? OH GOD, THE EFFORT IN THAT!


The fact that Justin write his songs may be a big argument his die-hard fans use to make him seem more credible but really, song-writing is only good when it make sense, for instance, the title ‘‘U Smile’ suggests immaturity by substituting the word “You” for a single phonetic letter, it’s like he’s ten years old and living in the 90’s. But that’s not the worst part – “Your lip’s my biggest weakness”, should really be “Your lips ARE my biggest weakness”. Does this boy ever go to school? Or actually… maybe he means he fancies just one of her lips? Hmm… Okay so maybe I’m being pedantic about that, but if it’s that obvious, he should’ve just thought of a better lyric: that one’s cringe-worthy.


Seriously though, he whole song is simple-yet-ineffective and plods along and an alarmingly slow rate, like it wants to linger around like a bad fart.


The fact that the belly of the song is about as empty as a pessimist’s glass means the rest of the song does appear to trudge along, not knowing what it’s actually doing. This has got to be the first song in the name of history that’s so inoffensive, it forgot to fight for it’s right to be structured. The backing is up to nothing, and there’s no form of musical or even vocal riffs, which is not the way to go when your song is released in the same week as Alexandra’s ‘Start Without You’, Alesha’s ‘Drummer Boy’ and McFly’s ‘Party Girl’, which all boast huge hooks.


Unfortunately, Justin’s too busy in America right now so thankfully, the TV will stay ‘U Smile’-free, as there’s no video.


The whole thing screams “album filler”, so why it was released baffles me because it’s never going to see the undeserved heights of ‘Baby’, more like the undeserved flop that was ‘Somebody To Love’.


Rating: 2.0 STARS


Download: September 6, 2010 (OUT NOW)


Featured Album: ‘My Worlds 2.0’


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