Single Review: Mark Ronson & The Business Intl. ft. Kyle Falconer & Spank Rock – ‘The Bike Song’


You’re not making this easy for me are you, Mark? Your completely random songs about completely random things are very hard to review, despite how brilliant they are.

Last time it was ‘Bang Bang Bang’, which I’ve finally realised is actually about private detectives of old; the Philip Marlowe kind, not the pipe-smoking, eye-glass wearing Sherlock Holmes type. “Bang you’re dead, ha!/Here’s your silhouette back” and “No-one ever does it like that anymore” eventually sunk through,”eventually” being the key word.

But thankfully the hard boiled fiction-reminiscence has been left at the door with Mark’s next release from third album ‘Record Collection’, ‘The Bike Song’, but that’s not going to stop him claiming “The Longest Title Credits In The History Of Like Evah” Award, by latching on Kyle Falconer of The View and Spank Rock of a spanked rock, to provide someone vocal loveliness over the conglomeration of bike bells, guitar jabs and cute little Dixie-esque horns.

Mark played it safe with ‘Bang Bang Bang’, in the “totally-not-vague *shifty eyes*” sense that private detectives aren’t that big anymore: you’ve pretty much got Miss. Marple and Agatha Christie on daytime television and the occasional book about them, so no harm, no foul. BUT, when you start messin’ with BIKES all Hell could break loose: us Britons are very fond of our bikes, even our politicians use them. Despite how much of a donkey Boris Johnson is, the sole fact he uses the glorious bike to get from B to A is light at the end of the tunnel, but soz David Cameron not even a bike will save you of your sins.

It is fair to say, the pedal power bike is pretty amazing. Not just in it’s visual appeal, oozing it’s attractiveness with every pedal rotation, but also in the sense that it’s always there, loyal and reassuring, not choking up the ozone layer, with no need for a licence; you get your own, specially-built pathways, and if you’re a real bike expert, you can skip traffic lights. What’s not to love about the bike?

This song, bizarre as it sounds, is exemplifying our nation’s love of that two-wheeled, lightweight friends of ours, with Kyle’s restrained vocals crooning quirky lyrics like “I’m gunna ride my bike until I get home” in a merry, Mary Poppins fashion, as he takes a leisurely ride through the streets of London.

Here’s the video. WOAH MARK! What happened to your hair!?

SEE!? Bikes are all powerful, and they will rise up against masked baddies. David, your bike is coming for you.

It’s rare these days you find a song that reaches into your sentiments without being a ballad. But this ones does it spectacularly; it makes you feel great to be a bike owner, knowing that there’s now a song that you can listen to to brighten up and rainy morning ride to work. Petty sentiments I know, but it’s such a fundamental concept it’s almost like it’s giving something back to those faithful, reliable forms of transport we all know as: ‘The Bicycle’.

Rating: 4.0 STARS

Download: September 20, 2010 (OUT NOW)

Featured Album: ‘Record Collection’

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