Okay, so imagine you’re a bit down in the dumps, not than kind where your all emo-like with a knife to your wrist for no reason at all, but the kind where you accidentally twisted an ankle and fell into the person in front of you, starting a huge domino rally of people in somewhere like Poundland, and then you get kicked out of Tesco for eating something from ASDA, and then, someone complains you’re being too noisy in your local library, which is only exaggerated by the fact being in a library on a Saturday night is like winning the lottery, but instead of collect your winnings, you spend the night in playing Boggle with your sister.
Not your day is it?
But then, something comes along three years later and you get a chance to become a better version of what you once were, laughing in the face of supermarket brands because now you can buy designer; you can make as much noise as you want in any library because you rule the pop world, and you get an uber-sexual make-over complete with fake spectacles, blazer, choppy fringe and a chance to rub up against another girl in front of a camera to show off your new-found SEXUALNESS.
And then you dance like this:
Embarrassing bodily thrusts aside, Same Difference kind of define the story from the past two and a bit paragraphs: they were all amazing and entertaining on the X Factor, when we could see them performing visually. But, like Jedward, they were very much a visual act, and as far as just listening to them went, they were about as fun as sitting on a nail gun. Hence when they were dropped by Syco, their luck really had ended.
Their début effort ‘We R One’ became the only single from their not exactly chart-topping début album, the unimaginatively titled ‘Pop’, which only hit #22 back in 2007. Still it’s both hilarious and worrying to see that it out-sold Christina’s ‘Bi-On-Ic’ by over 1000 sales, despite her fourth LP reaching the top spot not two moths ago.
Same Difference’s brand-spanking, shiny new single sees them having the “This is how you sell records in today’s environment” make-over of being sexed-up and shooting videos in a darkened club scene. Ho yes! There’ll be no chorus of dancing loonies in this video! No sunshine, no knee-length dresses, no failed High School Musical auditionees: this is PROPER POP which features ACTUAL SEXUALNESS of EPIC PROPORTIONS. Or so they think.
Opening to a dark bassline, they dancier vibe is clear from the outset, but then Sean’s emotionally transparent voice sings about having a feeling take over him (audience go “Oooooh”) but once Sarah takes over, and puts a bit of welly behind the notes, it becomes quite listenable, in that guilty pleasure kind of way (I hate to use that phrase ‘guilty pleasure’ but there are times when it’s needed and this is one of those times, OKAY?).
But ’round about 0:54 seconds in, the newly acquired, serious dance pop vibe give brushed out of the window by Sean and Sarah’s multi-coloured glove covered in sequins and glitter, whilst waving a jazz hand at the baying mob down below. Y’know the part, where the quick-fire, huskily sung lyrics become drawn-out and inflate the song in the campest way possible, before deflating it massively in the dubiously uncatchy chorus, which also comes back around at 2:19? Yeah, that part.
The balance is all wrong, and not just the balance in Sean’s dancing; the balance in the vocals too – all we seem to hear in the chorus when they’re both supposed to be singing is Sean; Sarah is left to languish in the background despite having superior vocal talent. On top of that, the chorus is as cheesy and as dated as a #41 single from 2001, and there’s no link between the verse and chorus at all. Thankfully, once the song really gets going, and another synth is added, the song is actually a lot better, but I wouldn’t play it too loudly near you’re friends, or anyone else over the ages of 12, for that matter.
For those of you interested in the song, I have a number for a great psychiatrist but for now, here’s the video:
Oof… Err… *pauses* Hmm… doesn’t it seem like the girl at 1:34 really doesn’t want to be there? Or maybe Sean’s got smelly breath?
As far as comeback singles go, this one would be an unstoppable hit if released a few years ago, clearly they’ve tried to update proceedings with a dancier, sexier sound and production, but with lyrics like that, and with choreography like THAT, it’s a bit like thinking you’re pregnant and finding out it’s just a bit of wind. Quite a let down.
It sounds like Jedward crossed with High School Musical, and is exactly what a comeback should be – boisterous, loud, flag waving, but unfortunately, that’s the biggest problem with this song, its to subtlety what the Scissor Sisters are to celibate, and if only it’d be a little less cringe-worthy, it’d be quite an impressive comeback but, as it is, Sean will finally have enough time out of the studio to beat Sarah at Boggle.
Rating: 2.5 STARS
Download: August 30, 2010 (OUT NOW)
Featured Album: TBA