Single Review: Stromae – ‘Alors On Danse’

Hang on, summer’s over, is it not? Okay, so maybe the weather’s a bit odd for this time of year but, I think we can deliberate September is not summer. So now that the ‘Kickstarts’ and the ‘California Gurls’ of summer 2010 have left the airwaves (although you can ensure ‘Love The Way You Lie’ will be around forever, so happy listening), their comes, as with all highs, a crash period, where all the colours and sounds die into the dreary, soulless X Factor re-releases and attempts at nabbing the Christmas #1. Summer is like a high: very exciting and exhilarating once on it, but essentially it’ll end up with you experiencing a horrible crash once off it.

But here comes Stromae, a Belgian rapper/producer, with some European dance music from across the continent, that’s out to prolong that high you’re on, almost as if he doesn’t want to admit summer’s over.

Well, if his name is anything to go by, he’s clearly got what it takes to revive us from the groggy come-down after all that partying (anyone else noticed he takes his name from the word ‘Maestro’?), but just like Christina knows only too well: a name will not sell; it is the product that sells.

Well, upon listening to ‘Alors On Danse’s first opening seconds we get severely mislead to believe it’s going to be quite a tame, maybe even dullard affair, but by the time the synthesised sax comes in, it’s looking promising, and THEN, Stromae enters with a dreary, reluctant rap (yes, people this IS IN FACT, French rapping, from a Belgian), and as if it couldn’t get any weirder… “Qui dit étude dit travail/Qui dit taf te dit les thunes/Qui dit argent dit dépenses/Qui dit crédit dit créance”…

OH! So this truly is a good piece of continental dance music! I feel like I’m fraternising with the continent already! Ooh… the culture. Take THAT Inna! Not so ‘Amazing’ any more ARE YOU!?

Okay so that’s enough rubbing it in and since ‘Alors On Danse’ just got ten times better with it’’s drunken “La la/La-la la laa”s and syncopated… actually, what IS that!? It’s amazing. I want one. It sounds like a cat with a furball wheezing into a vocoder.

Hyperactivity aside, the song does have it down side. It’s not a horrific degree of down-sided-ness, like a Cheryl Cole single or something, more like when you’re running to somewhere exciting and you get a stone in your shoe… that kind of ironic down-sided-ness. The song does appear to nab the synthesiser and sequencer that produced Inna’s ‘Hot’, as well as all her other songs which are basically ‘Hot’ with a key change.

And let’s make no mistake about this, gentles and ladymen, this is clearly going to be around forever. Not leaving the airwaves until the inevitable Leon Lewis re-release comes around, meaning it’ll still be in heavy rotation around February next year. And any person who’s heard this since Greg James became infatuated by it will know that it gets very annoying if you hear it… probably twelve time in the space of an hour? Seems typical for Radio 1 these days…

‘Alors On Danse’ he says… “So everybody dances”… OKAY.


Poor guy. He should ‘Danse juste’.

At the end of the day, there is quite little you can complain at with this song – it’s not entirely novelty like ‘We No Speak Americano’ or ‘Riverside (Let’s Go!)’ and nor is it completely stale and about as fun as being strapped to a cow’s underbelly as Inna’s desperate attempts at producing a song that doesn’t sound like all her others is.

And that sax is very good isn’t it? And roll on the random callouts of a low-pitch, drunken “ALORS ON DANSE” and ioppotune moments… but still, it’s better than everybody blurting out “BA BA AMERICANO” as fast as they can.

Rating: 4.0 STARS

Download: September 6, 2010 (OUT NOW)

Featured Album: ‘Cheese’

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