American Idol

No intro! Like they're actual pros! I can barely contain myself, but this is mainly due to Idol only being an hour tonight.

Katie Stevens with Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson.

No too bad. Little bit off on some notes, really off on others. Decent big note. Agree with Randy that it's too big for her, and apparently she doesn't know who she is blah blah, but who cares about what song, big, or young or whatever. Bottom line: She didn't sing it well.

Siobhan Magnus with House of the Rising Sun by The Animals.

I'm genuinely interested to see what she does with this, and, well.... she delivers. This girl is honestly a great singer. I thought she might be pushing the kooky shit, but for me, it works. It's like a great diva deigned to sing a bloke's song. She's won me over a little. Her new-found cleavage might have something to do with it, admittedly.

Lacey Brown with The Story by Brandi Carlile.

Brave girl, and she does a great job, but I was waiting for a climactic moment that never came, in a song that should be full of them. Still, those eyes, man.

Katelyn Epperly with I Feel the Earth Move by Carole King.

One of last years strongest contestants, Danny Gokey, returns to the American Idol stage with his latest single My Best Days Are Ahead Of Me.

I won't lie to you, I couldn't stand him last year, I thought he was an overconfident arse, and he seemed to think he had the competition in the bag. I'm not proud to say that I was glad he didn't win.

However, Gokey's gone country, and it's a good sound for him. It's a decent track too, doing well on iTunes from what Seacrest says. He goes nuts self-promoting, definitely milks his marketing value out of the conversation with Seacrest afterwards.

Having said that, My Best Days is quite an autobiographical song for the Gokster. You see, now that he's not competing, I kind of like Danny. Yes, I'm that fickle. Anyway, the song's quite an uplifting one - a great message. Better than The Climb, I think Haeley Vaughn would agree...

After an intro that looks and sounds like a bastardized version of a Jeremy Bruckheimer trailer, the drama unfolds...

...and so does the bloody lip-syncing! When is it going to stop? If we have to watch a lipdub of the song, i'd rather watch this. Nonetheless, despite Paige trying to literally upstage everyone, and Siobhan's ree-cock-ulous outfit, I enjoy the little sing-song.

John Park, pick a window, mate. You're leaving.

Yet, he manages to knock out a much better performance of his chosen song. As do all the eliminations, apart from Haeley, who screamed so much, she might have been better off letting Debbie the floor manager do it. I mean it - I winced quite a bit at the end.

Danny Gokey with My Best Days Are Ahead of Me by Danny Gokey

Not great. Almost identical to original artist's version. Some bum notes and pitc...... 

Oh sorry, I really thought he was an inexperienced contestant there. Seems like a nice bloke all the same, as do the eliminations. Yet again, more class shown tonight than I expected. Jermaine Sellers seemed like he had a complaint/excuse/insult hidden away in his blatherings, but that's about it

After Miss Bowersox's hospital visit - did we ever find out what she was in hospital for, anyway? - the remaining 10 ladies of American Idol take their turn on stage. Randy tries to up the ante by claiming that a bunch of the boys had fire in their eyes. And for a minute, we entertain the notion that some of the guys are satan worshippers who've done their deals with the devil (Simon?) in return for winning Idol...

Anyway, mysteriously ailed Crystal Bowersox is up first. Let's get started:

Crystal Bowersox

Taking on Creedence Clearwater Revival's Long As I Can See The Light, Crystal Bowersox gives a soulful, atmospheric rendition of a classic tune. Wow, showing off a fantastic voice -  no major tuning problems on this one, and she looks decidedly comfortable being on the stage.

It's the gentlemen's round of American Idol, and there are only ten blokes left after last week's eliminations of Tyler Grady and Joe Muñoz. It was sort of both ends of the spectrum - Grady a wannabe retro rock god, and Muñoz a rather bland little gerbil of a singer.

So onwards and middlewards - after the barrage of criticism the male singers took last week, I'm expecting some to try and be more ambitious, and others to tone it down with safer performances.

The Seacrest explains that due to an unfortunate hospitalisation, Crystal Bowersox is unable to perform tonight. Therefore, all the women are benched and the boys come forward. The producers must rate Bowersox to postpone the entire female performance by a day.

Michael Lynche

Big Mike Lynche is opening the show tonight. Michael tells us that he's a big musical theatre fan and tells us what kind of weights he can bench press. Tonight, Michael is singing This Is A Man's World by James Brown. He starts out strong, with a low, smoky resonance to his voice. The backing is wishy-washy as usual - Idol really needs to pick up the quality of the accompaniments. His voice wasn't quite as abrasive as I'd have liked it to be.

Forgive me if this blog entry seems a little off. Five minutes from my hotel and the start of Idol, I hit and killed a deer on a dark road in rural Iowa, making a few nice dents in my car and depriving it of a wing mirror. As if that wasn't bad enough, I then had to go and watch Idol...

Mamma Sox with Long As I See The Light by Creedance Clearwater Revival:

That's my girl - Brilliant brilliant brilliant.

Haeley Vaughn with The Climb by Miley Cyrus:

Pretty good, loses some volume and some pitch.

At this point, Simon makes a joke about climbing/falling off, and Seacrest attacks him for the uselessness of it. Good on you, Iron Hoof.

Lacey Brown with Kiss Me by Sixpence None the Richer: 

Much better than last time. One or two off notes. Interesting arrangement. I agree with judges that she needs to step it up, but she is still my second favorite.

Where are these booers coming from? They sound exactly the same every week, and seem British, for some reason. Seriously, I get the distinct feeling that I'm watching the Saturday Superstore when they erupt. 

Katie Stevens with Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae:

I’m upset tonight, for two reasons.

The first, Crystal Bowersox is sick and in hospital, forcing the guys to perform tonight instead. She must’ve have had an attack of her latent i’mtootalentedtobeinvolvedwiththisshit-itis. It’s not a major cause for concern though, as none of the other girls appear to be afflicted with it.

Anyways, I’ll be nice this time and throw in the song info. Andiamo…

Michael Lynche with Mans World, by James Brown:

I’m not a fan of this dude, but he really was very very good. I honestly can’t think of anything to criticize him on.

John Park with Gravity by John Mayer:

Ickle bit pitchy and breathy, and he looked terrified. Not great.

Seacrest takes a break here to ask me if I want some more idol in my life. Umm, not so much.

Casey James with I Don’t Want To Be by Gavin McGraw.:

Throws down with the electric guitar, but he plays it better than he sings. At least he has the decency to admit others are better. Not even Kara likes him this week. Oh, and way too much makeup.  Now, if only the lightning had’ve hit him, instead of the TV

Alex Lambert with Everybody Knows by John Legend:

We did the female eliminations a few minutes ago, now here are the two guys who got eliminated from American Idol. 70's styled rocker Tyler Grady got the boot, and baby-faced singer Joe Muñoz.

I remember being disappointed with Joe Muñoz - mostly for choosing a Jason Mraz song (I'm not a fan of the be-hatted Mraz and his lazy crooning). Even though Kara called him the best singer of the night, Simon Cowell gave him a damning judgement: "I don't believe that you're the kind of artist who can sell records all over the world. I think it was an OK, safe, forgettable performance. In 10 seconds time, we're gonna forget that performance."

Now, witness how quickly we forget about mousey Joe...

As for Tyler Grady - you'll either have loved him or hated him. Or not cared enough to vote for him. Tyler's the guy who's trying to channel the ghost of Jim Morrison and other retro rockers of that era. As someone who loves The Doors, and Led Zeppelin and all that kind of music, someone like Tyler Grady presents a problem - are they being authentic or are they being copycat? Is there a place for leather trousers, open neck shirts and full-on rock pouting? In 2010?

The first two ladies to get the boot from this year's American Idol are singers Ashley Rodriguez and Janell Wheeler. I'm a little bit disappointed by this, because I thought both had potential, despite clear first-night nerves. Damn.

Rodriguez, 22, sang Happy by Leona Lewis but met with disappointing comments from the judges. Simon Cowell described the performance as clumsy, and suggested that she was even going backwards. Still, she had a great look and great vocals in the run-up to this - I'd hoped Ashley would get a second chance.

Janell Wheeler - what a cutie - got dumped after her rendition of What About Love? by Heart. The judges weren't too critical of her - some comments were that she had chosen a difficult song, with Simon saying that she went sharp when she got too excited.

I don't think either singer was the worst in the competition - Siobhan Magnus stood out for me as a slightly boring performer and a tiny bit creepy in her VT. Katie Stevens is another contestant who didn't match up to the other finalists.

Over to you lot now - tell us who you thought would get eliminated from American Idol this week. Or did you predict it right and suggest Ashley and Janell?

After four additional hours of Idol this week, tonight's show was mercifully short, and seemed to go by fast. Fortunately for you, so will my blog. Before I begin, I have two questions for you all:

1.    Was American Boy mimed tonight? Sure looked like it was.
2.    Are Lacey’s beautiful eyes actually colored contacts?
3.    Am I betraying my country by using American spellings?

Never mind that last one. All of the eliminations made sense, since they were poor performances, as I pointed out the last two days, and they repeated them, to a tee, tonight. Still, every one of them had a very classy reaction to the bad news, except the one elimination I would have predicted for sure: Tyler Grady.

Like I said before, I have literally no idea how he even got to Hollywood. I thought his initial audition was a joke, and he had the audacity to blame the judges for his lack of talent tonight. Good riddance to bad rubbish, but I at least hope he had the good sense to steal that spa robe he liked so much.

On the other end of the spectrum - did you see Tim's face when he realized he wasn't getting kicked out? He was so shocked. Me too, mate. Me too.