Katie Price

An unusually camera-shy Katie Price got dragged onto the Big Brother's Big Mouth stage tonight by Davina McCall to talk about Celebrity Big Brother winner Alex Reid.

Putting on a rather demure front (as in, her epic cleavage was covered up for once), Price called Reid the love of her life. And we all distinctly recall her saying the same thing about Peter Andre, so the big question is "How many loves of your life can you have in your life?" Same old nonsense, eh?

As we all expected, she said that it wasn't a surprise that her boyfriend Reid and former fiance Dane Bowers had made it all the way to the final because "I don't go for shit 'eds."

Price described her favourite Big Brother moment as Alex getting fake tan applied by Nicola Tappenden. She claimed that they're both crazy and Alex runs around with his kit off all the time at home.

Later on, Davina grills Alex about whether there'll be wedding bells in his future. He looks coy, and the camera pans to a shifty looking Price. This is interesting. We've just seen an advert for Peter Andre's expose in News Of The World this weekend, so an announcement of Alex and Katie Price getting married would deflate that story pretty quickly. Stay tuned for more information. I'm guessing Katie thinks that a wedding would restore her fortunes.

Every now and then, we try to come up with a novel idea for a TV show. Here's one for the folks at ITV - combining ITV2's two biggest assets (no, not Katie Price's boobs), Katie and Peter, in the reality TV event of the decade!

Here's the pitch - Katie's with cagefighter Alex Reid, but the press say that she wants Peter back. The rumours are that Peter's frantically texting her to get back together (before the pop career goes into another decade-long hibernation). So, instead of all this faffing around, why not do things the real man way and have a proper fight to determine who wins fair Katie's hand?

The concept is this - Peter goes head to head in a televised cage match with Alex Reid. In a massive cross-channel marketing coup, we bring in National Treasure Cheryl Cole to sing her hit single Fight For This Love, except she'll change the lyrics to (Cage) Fight For This Love. Because anything that's worth having, is sure enough worth fighting for.

Here is an explosive poster concept we've put together for the event:

Poor Pete. It's not four weeks since his marriage broke down and he's already filming a fly on the wall documentary about it. His emotions are raw, his head's not 'in the right place'. And he's in frickin' IKEA buying furniture with well-wishers shouting nice things at him.

I'd have loved to hear someone holler "Don't worry Pete, she's a skanky bitch." Followed by a comedy "Yeah, I had her last week!" in the background.

But it's this documentary that makes me realize how hard Pete had it. Princess Di complained that there were three people in her marriage (referring to Charlie's hang-up with Mrs. Parker-Bowles). You want a crowded marriage, Diana? Try being Petey - he had his split-personality whore in the bedroom, bitch in every other room combo of Jordan/Katie. Then you've got the omnipresent ClaireTheManager, Dave the cameraman and then the sound guy, the nanny and the various occasional hangers-on.

Anyway, it looks like Pete might be getting the ITV2 camera crew as his part of the divorce settlement. Unless they’re planning to share custody or leave it to the crew to choose.

Since it looks like their split wasn't a publicity stunt after all, the big question is: who are you supporting, Katie or Peter?

It looks like a clear-cut case - the nation's tabloids have hailed Andre as 'Saint Peter', while they've dropped back to calling Katie 'Jordan' again. It's hardly a stretch, since she's reverted to Jordan-type behaviour, all crotch and boobs and falling out of nightclubs.

The case for Peter Andre is pretty clear-cut: hard working, down-at-heel husband, devoted family man. Their marriage has been documented by a fly on the wall reality TV series for years. Katie has been seen sniping at Peter for years, and any bickering he does is mostly reactive to her tirades.

The turgid divorce saga between Katie 'Jordan' Price and Peter 'Mysterious Girl' Andre continues apace. Tabloid editors are finally lukewarm on the topic though, because they've got plenty of prone politicians to fry right now. Who cares about a couple of random attention seekers?

Even so, the former couple are getting a fair amount of newspaper commentary. In The Mirror, Fiona Phillips has spoken out about the couple's marriage and where they went wrong:

Ask anyone who's been in a successful marriage for a decent length of time and they'll say 'you have to work at it'. Well, to give them their due, Katie Price and Peter Andre certainly worked at theirs.

They worked at it in glossy magazines, downmarket magazines, on telly, in books - anywhere they could, they worked it. And that's why it's not working.

Despite the volatility of their relationship, it's clear they love each other, but life's got in the way, along with those TV cameras and endless magazine deals.

I've always felt that Jordan comprises that axis of celebrity evil that included herself, Kerry Katona and Jade Goody.

So I just watched Katie Price and Peter Andre present a British Soap Award together, in what will be their last TV appearance together. Well, that is until they reunite and sell the details of their first steamy makeup session to OK magazine.

Knowing that the pair had split up just a few days after attending the awards, I was on the lookout for any obvious hostility or snide remarks, for once the pair seemed quite subdued. It was nice not to have to listen to them bicker for a change. Maybe that was a sign of things to come.

Katie's dress was as usual, less than subtle, as you can see above. She looked like a porn star going to her prom, ridiculous would be an understatment. Peter Andre is better off without, maybe next time he'll go for a woman with a bit of class, or at least realistic looking boobies!