Music

Sorry to say it, but the solo debut of 'national treasure' Cheryl Cole has been a distinct non-event. First off, there was Fight For This Love, which was one of those 'hit back at the gossips' songs that has recently backfired on her almost as hard as Rehab did for Amy Winehouse. Then there was that dreadful collaboration with will.i.am a track that no-one outside of the studio needed to hear, let alone release as a single.

And let's not get started on the wacky styling, which her 'people' probably described as edgy and modern, but which actually looks like Lady Gaga in the deepest throes of depression.

But there's a glimmer of hope - Parachute, a song with some kind of decent chorus. And instead of trying to do anything too edgy, this borrows a tango rhythm with a touch of a hip hop beat. It's a gentle, romantic song, only slightly marred by the declarations of "I don't need a parachute, baby if I got you" and "I won't fall out of love".Hard to rely on someone catching you from a freefall when they're probably distracted trying to text a photo of their privates to a glamour model. But hey, that's a lesson everybody needs to learn once, right?

The good and bad thing about the SXSW showcases is the sheer number of new bands you start getting emails about. It's almost impossible to listen to them all, never mind write about the ones you like.

But I'm glad I turned on to Toronto's Dinosaur Bones, even though there's a distinct lack of material on their MySpace page. On the other hand, the two songs that are currently featured on their player are so top notch that they deserve a spotlight.

First up is Ice Hotels, a track that builds layer upon lavish layer of sound while a romantic tale plays out in the verses. Booming, deep drumbeats punctuate the lyrics and build the tension up until it's all released with a single cymbal crash, then silence. Royalty takes the band into a bass-heavy rock groove while singer Ben Fox puts in an impassioned vocal. On the press release, they describe Dinosaur Bones' songs as "broody pop gems, dripping with haunting synth layers and a throbbing rhythm section", and there's not much more I can add to that. Check out Ice Hotels...

It's time for the latest and greatest music on the UK pop scene. Here's this week's top ten singles.

For me, it's a mixed bag. Some great tracks, but mostly rubbish. I hate the new Rihanna single. It's another step toward destroying her image and potentially her career. And Cheryl Cole makes a third single out of Parachute, which is frankly the best of a very inconsistent and unsatisfying solo career so far.

This mutual admiration society (of the strictly musical kind) between Bret Michaels and Miley Cyrus continues apace. Since Miley recorded a cover version of Poison's Every Rose Has Its Thorn, the two have complimented each other in the press and it's no surprise that a second collaboration between the two singers is coming out.

I'm sure Michaels knows what he's doing - coming from the forefront of 80's/90's pop metal, he's probably well used to criticism from the metal masses. So, if we can avoid universal condemnation for a collab with Hannah Montana, let's judge the song on its own merit, OK?

Nothing To Lose taps into a vein of soft country-rock that Michaels in particular excels at. Big, rich harmonies with Miley are prevalent, as are lingering power chords underneath an array of acoutic playing. No moulds were broken during the making of this song, but since when has that mattered? It's still nice to hear Bret's voice on some new material - I was a massive Poison fan until I lost touch with them around the Native Tongue period.

And in case anyone's concerned with the grizzled, 40-something shagger singing a duet with the Disney princess, he has this to say:

I was a bit surprised when Daisy Dares You came on TV the other day with Number One Enemy. It looked like the end of a brief stint of positive single reviews. The intro to the song is sung in that girly Lily Allen, bored-voice style. It's enough to put you right off, but if you'd stopped listening after the first verse, you'd have missed a great chorus.

In fact, the chorus is the selling point of Number One Enemy. The verses are virtually redundant - it's all about that upwards inflection when Daisy screams "STOP!" It doesn't take long for that chorus to burn itself into your mind - and as the song reaches its climax, it gets stronger and more listenable.

Until that Chipmunk cameo.

Sorry, but what is it about that helium-voiced plonk? "Ha ha, Mister Munk!" His rapping is pathetic, redundant and totally unwanted. Maybe the label insisted on teaming Daisy up with a 'big' name to help sell the record, but it wasn't needed. I can see how Chipmunk appeals to the demographic, but he's a total waste of space.

Newsflash! According to this Guardian feature on Daisy, Chipmunk wasn't the original rapper on the track either:

I kind of like Jason Derulo. He's a purveyor of quality pop-slash-R&B tunes, and he almost reminds me of a young Chris Brown. Before Chris permanently tarnished his image with that unfortunate 'rearranging Rihanna's face' incident.

I'm not making light of the domestic violence incident, but isn't it funny how Derulo pops neatly into the slick, youthful R&B singer spot that Brown just vacated? He's either got a flawless complexion or he's airbrushed to within an inch of his life. He can do the fancy footwork (check out his videos), and there are the aforementioned chart-destroying tunes.

And In My Head is only his second single to date!

There's clearly more of a rawk vibe to this single - though the same smooth harmonies carry the melody, you can hear the distorted guitars punctuating the climaxes in the song. There's a liberal smattering of autotune on the vocals here, but it works out nicely.

An aside: How many R&B singers do you think wake up each morning and sing their own name through an autotune mic?

Moving on to the music video - it borrows heavily from Justin Timberlake's Like I Love You video: the bit of flirting and dancing at the 7/11. Yes, the yanks have been meeting girls this way since the 1950's, why stop now? If it ain't broke, and all that...

Continuing with what I hear is the fourth single from the She Wolf album, our Colombian heroine Shakira releases Gypsy. Considering I've been oblivious to Shakira since the She Wolf single was dropped on us, Gypsy comes as a bit of a shock.

Gone are the disco-flavoured backing beats, replaced by harmonica intros and sitar playing (or is it banjo?) on an intensely ethnic-feeling track. All of this sits on a simple snare beat as Shakira warbles on in that sexy-yodeller voice of hers.

It's a rootsy little tune that shouldn't be unexpected for longtime fans of Miss Mebarak - she pulls in and uses such an ecclectic range of musical styles that we've come to expect this. I still remember the accordian intro to Objection which blended effortlessly into a surf guitar riff. Impressive stuff!

The Gypsy video's a smouldering affair, as Miss Shakira is joined by tennis player Rafael Nadal (where is Mr Shakira during all of this, you might well ask!) She's wearing a very revealing black wrap which covers those small and humble boobs, but will clearly have the pervs in the audience leaning closer to the TV to see if she's wearing anything underneath it.

The next single from Paramore's Brand New Eyes album is The Only Exception. It's the third single from the album, and I feel I should forewarn you that I haven't been as taken with Brand New Eyes as I was with Riot! - I think I'm still so engrossed with that album that truthfully, I'm not ready for this new material yet.

Anyway The Only Exception is a ballad (gasp!), quite a break from the sublime rockers that the band have released to date. Of course, there's plenty of romantic material to be had on the album tracks...

This one is a song of hope - at the beginning, Hayley's sworn off love and doesn't believe it exists. Damn those parental breakups! But the frequent refrain is to the lover in the video that he's the exception to that rule. The lyrics are admirable, optimistic and adorable.

The video features Hayley walking through various scenes in her life, including a clever speed-dating scene where she 'dates' each member of Paramore individually and rejects them all! And, according to Neon Limelight, the letters on the bed Hayley lies on are all "real love letters from Paramore fans". That's got to be a massive ego boost, seeing your letter in a Paramore video.

If you dared to actually listen to Gabriella Cilmi's album a couple of years ago, you'd know that there was more to Miss Cilmi than Sweet About Me.

I saw Gabriella performing this on the Just Dance for Sports Relief on Saturday night, and the song made me sit up and take notice. No, not just because of the futuristic (and tantalisingly short) silver dress she was wearing, but because the song was just fantastic.

Drawing from a ton of 70's and 80's disco references, On A Mission is a big fuzzy synth dance anthem. She vamps is up in some often ridiculous spacey costumes, but the video is perfect for this shameless pop track. I read on the BBC Chartblog a little bit of background to the song's composition:

If the grown-ups wanted to try and butt in at this point, it might be to conclude that, yes, the verses really DO feature the bass line to 'Stepping Out' by Joe Jackson, with the chords from Van Halen's 'Jump' played over the top. But by the time the speedy, bratty chorus rolls around, they'll just be holding their ears and asking someone to turn it down

Kimberly Wyatt has announced that she is leaving The Pussycat Dolls.

The Got To Dance judge blamed "variables off-stage" for her departure and was thought to be referring to her souring relationship with andmate Nicole Scherzinger.

"I've left the group," she told Loaded. "I am so thankful for everything the Pussycat Dolls [have] brought into my life. But I have to say there were just too many variables that I couldn't agree with and I had to follow my heart. So I decided to kind of push on with my own life."

Wyatt added: "Money and fame can't buy happiness. Ultimately I think that happiness is the most important thing in life and I think that once I started to get to know myself more and more I was like, 'You know, I don't think that happiness is within this group right now'.

"I wish that it was different because I love what we do on stage. I love being a Doll, but as far as the variables off-stage are concerned - I just couldn't do it anymore."