The National Movie Awards 2010 – Liveblog!

Hi folks – welcome to Unreality Shout’s liveblog for the National Movie Awards 2010, presented by none other than Northern Ireland’s very own Jimmy James Nesbitt.

Follow me as I liveblog the show, giving you the nominations and winners.

Up first:

Best Action Thriller

  • Shutter Island
  • Inglorious Basterds
  • 2012
  • Sherlock Holmes – Winner
  • Kick Ass

Someone who is not Robert Downey Jnr or even Jude Law accepts the award. In fact, Chris Rock’s intro was more entertaining than the acceptance speech. Anybody know who that guy was?

Sex And The City

Shameless movie promo spot (I’m ignoring the Chris Rock one). Diane Kreuger does a truly horrible introduction for the movie. It feels like she’s ad-libbed the whole thing…badly. I’m not a Sex And The City fan, so this looks like pure man-torture.

Oh, it doesn’t end there – they’ve got Chris Noth in to present the next award. The female audience members go wild. We’re gonna need a cleanup in aisle three.

Fantasy

  • Alice In Wonderland – Tim Burton doing what Tim Burton does best.
  • Avatar – James Cameron ‘redefining cinema’ or whatever he likes to call it.
  • Clash Of The Titans – Awesome swashbuckling action adventure
  • Twilight: New Moon – Dismal, dreary, depressing, dull. The only movie to convince me that Van Helsing was right in staking vamps. – Winner

Twishite took the award? Are you fricking kidding me? There’s proof that in a public vote, the best movie won’t necessarily win.

StreetDance

StreetDance looks like an intriguing prospect – a mix of the cream of UK Urban musicians and stars of dance-type reality shows like George Sampson. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to come with much of a plot – if the trailer’s anything to go by it’s just an excuse to slam some dance sequences into a movie.

As part of the fun advertising moment, we get the infernal Chipmunk singing Tiny Dancer while some of the acts in the movie strut their stuff around the stage.

As if by apology for the last 6 minutes of crap, they bring on the wonderful Simon Pegg to announce the next award…

Best Breakthrough

  • Coco Before Chanel – zzzzzzz
  • The Time Traveler’s Wife – time jumping romantic drama – Winner
  • Paranormal Activity – low budget horror makes good
  • Harry Brown – It’s got Michael Caine in it!
  • Nativity – What it says on the tin…

This one’s a bit of a surprise, especially in the same bracket as Paranormal Activity. But the book it’s based on The Time Traveler’s Wife is well worth the read.

Toy Story 3

Finally – a clip I actually want to see. And they roll out Jonathan Ross, who by rights should have been presenting. He quips about being excited to be on ITV “because I’m looking around” and raves about his love of the movie.

Brilliant clip – nice sequence with Buzz escaping and witnessing Barbie and Ken cooing over each other. Looking forward to this movie.

Best Family Movie

Orlando Bloom’s out to present this. Nesbitt gives a great crack about remembering him mostly for his role as a rent boy in Wilde. Now, has Orly got a movie in the pipeline?

  • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – Rowling’s summer home gets a fresh lick of paint – Winner
  • Up – Old man takes the trip of a lifetime in a balloon powered house.
  • Alvin And The Chipmunks 2: The Squeakuel – Helium voiced CGI singing machines return – with girlfriends?
  • Nanny McPhee And The Big Bang – Mary Poppins with warts. Unexpectedly fun movie!

Dan Radcliffe, Emma Watson and the one wot plays Ginny Weasley step up to accept the award. Radcliffe has never looked shorter! They even let Ginny give a little speech, which was just wonderful and plummy-voiced.

Michelle Ryan and Noel Clarke present a coming soon section with clips from The A Team, the Wall Street sequel, an action movie featuring Arnie, Stalone and Bruce Willis, The Sorcerers Apprentice. Tron Legacy. Ooohhhhhh!!!

Performance Of The Year

Dominic Cooper and James Corden come on to present this award, which features clips from some of the biggest movies of the year. I did not need to see Robert Pattinson’s scruffy pube line in slow motion, but apparently that’s the one people voted for. Girls are disgusting creatures, aren’t they?

Most Anticipated Movie Of The Summer

I like this award category – imagine a movie winning an award before actually being released to the cinema! There’s premature for you.

Hell, they don’t even bother with nominations. It’s Twilight. Bloody Twilight. Shitty, crappy, boring Twilight. Children, watch True Blood instead. It’s a lot more honest, funny and sexy. Even watch The Vampire Diaries, which is intense but ridiculous at the same time.

Whoops, got lost in that mini-tirade there. Kylie Minogue just walked on stage. It’s not like she has a new single to promote or anything, is it? Christ, this entire award ceremony has been utterly content-lite with adverts and trailers taking up the bulk of a two-hour show.

Special Recognition Award

Actors and pundits line up to praise the Harry Potter movies, and Ricky Wilson mentions that no American actors have ever been cast in a Harry Potter movie. Is that true? If it is, that’s pretty amazing.

Kylie finally gets down to it – Harry Potter is the most successful movie series in film history. That’s cool. Little Dan hangs back this time and the oldies step forward to make some speeches. Cut to Tom Cruise to remind us that Hollywood royalty is in the house. ITV got to get their money’s worth.

Kudos to the guy who said he was young when Harry Potter started. I was young when the Harry Potter crew started making their bloody speeches. Good lord.

Trailer: Knight and Day

Aha! This is the movie featuring Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise. It looks like a spy comedy with Cruise as a batshit crazy spy who’s dragged Diaz’s character into some crazy dangerous situations. This could be a return to form for both of them.

Screen Icon Award – Tom Cruise

Gynneth Paltrow is here to give an actor and producer with a 20-year-plus history of making cool movies. It is – of course – Mr Tom Cruise. We get a run-down of some of Cruise’s finest roles – it’s got to be said, whatever you think of the Scientology stuff that’s dogged his personal and professional life in the last few years, Cruise has made some cracking films.

Does he get to make a speech? Will he be handing out pamphlets after the show?

Cruise gives a very humble, almost nervous speech. He takes the time to thank the crews and people who’ve worked with him, acknowledging that he couldn’t do his job alone.

Wow, what a load of bollocks. ITV, you have to do better than this. That was just one big long advert with a few awards thrown in to keep the audience happy. Nesbitt – I’m sorry to say this – didn’t have good enough material to carry the show. The script was too tame to be remotely entertaining – any presenter worth his salt would have played it closer to the bone. In fact – I shudder to say this – James Corden was possibly the most entertaining person on the awards show tonight.

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