Music

What do you think of when you hear the word 'wisdom'? I'll tell you what I think of: I see in my minds eye and old Chinese man with a long white beard wearing a tall hat and meditating on a rock with a cup of herbal tea to one side and a bowl of noodles to the other. And to make it even weirder, this man has Yoda's head and he's knitting and purple scarf.

Some say I have a vivid imagination… I don't see it particularly.

I'm not going to lie; I get jealous easily, because the only thing I've ever been remotely good at is writing, and who reads these days? Everyone's using social websites and typing with abbreviated, colloquial terms like "wubu2" or "buzzin". And to be honest, writing is hardly a babe magnet and a lot of other teenagers are out playing sport or showing off their skills whereas I'm sat inside writing most of the time, only ever leaving the house for my friends, whom I cherish very muchly. So I guess you could say outside of my close-knit friend community, I'd be a bit of a 'geek', for lack of a better, less-Americanised term.

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Cowboy builders must be the most annoying things imaginable right? You'd have to be some serious pain in the arse if you topped that, like if you played some evil prank on someone which ended up with the prank's reciprocal having something like bird poo on their head, or maybe some form of liquid being thrown over them from a great height, whilst they were looking up, with their mouth open and wearing their best T-Shirt.

But what makes cowboy builders the biggest annoyance in like evaaa? Well, you pay them to come around and fix something you know nothing about, and when they leave with your money you think everything is perfect again. A few days or even weeks later, you realise it isn't; you can't get your money back; you can’t contact the cowboy builder/plumber/electrician; and you’re left none the wiser about what’s wrong with your boiler/plumbing/heating. And if that's not enough, you'll probably end up on a day-time TV programme on BBC3 with Dominic Wood and Melinda Messenger, where they make you ring up the cowboy and watch you cry on TV. Just peachy.

Jason Derulo is clearly a cowboy, and I don't mean in the Brokeback Mountain way: he doesn't seem to finish the job with some songs, but he's clearly got a bit of know how in the R&B ballad department.

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Jay Sean recently premiered the lead single 2012 from his upcoming album, due out this November. Sean is still striking while the iron is hot and quickly churning out another album before irrelevancy kicks in!

The human body has its limit: the point where it feels it can no longer 'go on' with a high energy-consuming exercises, despite what the mid wants to do. The limit can be altered by many things - alcohol and cigarettes can reduce the amount of high energy-consuming exercise a person can do, whilst drugs like ecstasy can increase the limit.

Anyone who's experienced a hot, sweaty night club where the music is so loud it defies your ear drums; where the people are rubbing up against each other like moonfish; where the currency are those all-important, irresistibly addictive little white pills which can help you 'go on' for longer, party harder, scream louder, jumper higher and fall in love over and over again in the same night, will know what I’m talking about.

But sometimes, the human body just needs a rest, and if you're not one for denying this niggling desire for release with illegal substances, the Gorillaz have the answer.

You see, when you're done partying for the week, or just have no energy left because of the extreme heat us Britons aren't used to, it's always a good idea to go out to your garden with a deck chair and some sun screen and just relax in the sweltering heat, working up your tan.

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Human beings are selfish things. You only need to glance through a squinted eye visually impaired by a bout of glaucoma at Simon Cowell to see this. We are selfish because we are stressed a LOT of the time. Whether you're teenagers, adults or grandparents, there's always something to trigger a wave of impatience or sudden, snappy reactions which you might not have done otherwise, whether it be romances, politics, bad table manners etc, etc.

Just like the movies, it's always smart to have a place where you can go - by yourself - to wind down and calm yourself without interruptions, so that you can emerge from your private hiding place feeling refreshed, invigorated and ready for the rest of the day (I realise now I sound like the back of a shampoo bottle). This hiding place is your sanctuary; a place for you, and only for you. Anything can happen inside, as it should be at your disposal, the are no restrictions and no rules, except for the one that whilst you're residing inside, no-one is permitted to enter.

A tad selfish would you not agree?

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