True Blood – 9 Crimes (S03E04) – Episode review

Bill Compton’s first order of business in 9 Crimes? Breaking lil’ Sookie Stackhouse’s heart, the bounder. He phones her up, gives her the bad news that Lorena is better in the sack than she is and leaves her to weep against Alcide Herveaux’s rippling torso. I honestly thought for a split second that Sookie was going to have some revenge sex with Alcide. But no.

It’s a busy episode for Stephen Moyer as Bill. He pledges himself to Russell Eddington and cunningly sells the Queen of Louisiana and Eric Northman down the river for dealing in vampire blood. (Note: In [[True Blood (TV Series)|True Blood]], vampires have a heirarchy of power that looks a lot like a monarchy, and their blood is highly addictive to humans, which is why it’s sold as a black market drug). After that, he negotiates with Eddington to have his maker Lorena killed. Well, she is a total bitch. And he punches her in the face, sending her flying across the room.

Much is revealed about Russell Eddington too. Even though he’s seemingly got Bill, it turns out Franklin Mott – the vamp who’s been alternately torturing and wooing Tara – has been working for Eddington all along. And he’s keen to find out more about Sookie and Bill’s relationship. That’s got to be worrying, because it hints that Eddington’s got a deeper agenda than taking out the vampire power base in Louisiana. For the moment though, we viewers are in the dark.

We also see Eddington addressing the assembly of neo-Nazi werewolves in an orgy of blood drinking, branding irons and sex. Well, the sex bit was hinted at. But it’s clear this alliance between Eddington and the Operation Werwolf crew is a long standing thing. I wonder how old some of these wolves are?

Back in Bon Temps, the action was thinner on the ground. I didn’t care for Jason Stackhouse blackmailing Andy Bellefleur into making him a police officer, but laughed when he challenged a younger version of himself. Sam’s problems with his trailer trash kinfolk bored me – the clock is ticking on that storyline if it doesn’t begin to get interesting soon. I loved that he had to hire Jessica as hostess for the bar because he was short on staff – Jessica’s a bunch of murders just waiting to happen, so she always entertains me when she’s on screen. The notion of her being perpetually too young to serve in the bar was a smart idea too.

I’ll mention this relationship between Tara and Franklin Mott again, because it really intrigues me. Franklin seems to have a real duality about him. It’s impossible to tell if he’s pure evil or if in some twisted way he thinks he’s courting Tara. The character is written so differently to the books that I can’t predict how he’s likely to behave!

Selected quotes from 9 Crimes:

  1. Bill: “Nobody has me. I have left my life in Bon Temps. And I am leaving you.” Sookie: “Shut the fuck up!”
  2. Bill: “We f*cked like only two vampires can. I didn’t hold back for fear of hurting her like I do with you. Look at your life since I have entered it. I will bring you only pain.”
  3. Alcide: “No matter how well you think you know somebody, they can turn around and kick you right in the nutsack.” Sookie (sobs): “I don’t have a nutsack…”
  4. Lorena: “Well…that was the best sex I’ve had in decades.” Bill: “At least somebody enjoyed it.”
  5. Sookie (to Eric): “Can all vampires fly?” Eric: “Can all humans sing?” Sookie: “Are you kidding? I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it.”
  6. Janice: “She was his first love, he never met anybody so alive and all that bullshit. But how many bullets are you gonna take for somebody? How many bad things gotta happen to you and the ones you love for you to realise that feeling alive ain’t enough?”
  7. Kenya bitches about Andy’s promotion: “I guess the only way to get a promotion in this town is to drink like a fish, hallucinate fa4rm animals and kill a black man. Promotion!”
  8. Franklin: “I’m not a bad guy Tara, I just want to make sure we have a chance.”
  9. Magister: “What shall it be, sheriff? Desecration of the blood, or treason against your regent? Both amongst the most dire of crimes.”
  10. Lafayette: “Oh hell, how am I supposed to deal with this f***ed-upness?”

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