True Blood Episode 3.03 Review – “It Hurts Me Too”

Previously on True Blood:


  • Sam met his birth family. They’re all pretty trashy folks but Maw and Paw Mickens welcome Sam. His little brother Tommy doesn’t though, attempting to murder Sam by coaxing the gullible bartender to run out in shifter form in front of an oncoming truck. Fail Sam! Fail!
  • After visiting Lafayette’s bonkers mum, Tara is considerably less suicidal but still pretty down in the dumps over Eggs’ death. While out for a spot of outdoor drinking on her own (loser), she hears a bunch of rednecks making racist remarks about Eggs and proceeds to beat them up. She’s helped out though by a mysterious and sexy English vampire who seems to be aroused by her boxing abilities.
  • Jason wants to join the cops. That’s all you need to know about his storyline from last episode because that’s all that’s focused on in this episode.
  • Over at chez Edgington, Russell reveals to Saint Beehl that he knows he’s not as saintly as he makes out he is, threatens Sookeh, reveals his plans to marry Queen Sophie Anne despite being gay and all and re-introduces Bill to his maker Lorena. Bill is ecstatic to see her.
  • Jessica attempts to cut up the dead body in her cubby hole with a rented chainsaw but discovers that the body has disappeared! WTF?
  • Sookie and Eric grew closer, chat on the porch about Nazi werewolves, Eric remembers stuff about werewolves working for vampires back in World War II. He then pins Sookie against her front door and quips: “Invite me in!” Sookie replies demurely “Won’t you please come in, Mr. Northman?” when “Get inside!” would have sufficed. Eric walks in, fangs bared, a werewolf jumps in and Sookie fires off her gun. End of episode…
Okay, now with my late review of Episode 3 of Season 3 of True Blood. I’m splitting this into character paragraphs to make it easier for me. It may also be shorter than my other reviews.

Sookie, Alcide and Eric

So what happened as the follow-up to last episode’s cliffhanger. Well Eric jumped, slo-mo, right in front of Sookie’s Matrix style bullet. I like to think Eric was actually seeing the bullet fly at him, all detailed, because of his vampire vision but it was probably done more for stylistic effect. Eric, weakened by Sookie stupidly shooting him, gets in a grapple with the creepy werewolf who was watching Sookie from outside Merlotte’s. He has a bit of a fight on his hands though because to add to werewolf super strength, this werewolf has drank vampire blood which strengthens him even further and because he’s an addict, he ruthlessly chewing on Eric. However, Sookie has more precise aim with her second bullet and manages to pin Creepy Werewolf down, giving Eric a chance to jump up and save the day. Eric asks “WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!” with Creepy Werewolf replying “You’ll have to kill me because I’ll never tell” or something to that effect. Eric replies “As you wish” and then drains the blood out of Creepy Werewolf, getting Sookie’s rug wet in the process. 😉
Sookie and Eric then take a midnight stroll out to the graveyard to bury Creepy Werewolf and flirt a lot during the process. I hear every Eric + Sookie 4EVA fangirl squeal from miles around. Sookie’s pretty pissed though that they didn’t get to question Creepy Werewolf about Bill’s whereabouts but due to Sookie’s telepathy and Eric’s uncanny ability for noticing accents, they discover that the werewolves may possibly have Bill hidden in Jackson, Missisippi. Sookie’s like “We have to go and save Bill” but Eric’s like “Not without protection”. He then proceeds to send hunky good werewolf Alcide Herveaux to accompany Sookie to Lou Pine’s (har har har), “the oldest Were bar in all of Missisippi where Sookie can use her telepathy to find out about possible links to Bill’s kidnapping.
They’ve pretty much stuck to the book storyline here with Sookie, Eric and Alcide so I can’t say I was particularly shocked by any of the events. Sookie was pretty stupid in this episode though – she walked right up to a bunch of clearly violent Weres, undefended and started flirting with them, nearly getting raped by the late Patrick Swayze’s brother in the process. Thankfully Alcide and bouncer Hollis came to the rescue just in time but it seems like Sookie goes from being smart, independent woman in one episode to dumb as a box of rocks, damsel in distress in another episode. A bit of consistency please.
Book readers will also find that Sookie has no problem reading the minds of shifters and weres in the show where she found it more difficult in the novels. Joe Manganellio seems well cast as gruff, down to Earth werewolf Alcide but his Southern accent needs a little work. I can’t wait to meet his psychotic ex-girlfriend Debbie Pelt in the next episode. She’s just a character people are going to love to hate.


Realising that his family are all bad news, Sam quickly skedaddled away from Arkansas back to his bar in Bon Temps. However, there’s no escaping him now as the Mickens’ decided to come out and visit Sam’s “fancy” new bar. Naturally he wasn’t happy to meet his family but being the good hearted guy he is, offered them all a free lunch. Unfortunately, his family showed their trashy true colours, getting drunk with papa Joe Lee getting borderline violent.

I see two possibilities for this storyline. The Mickens’ are going to try and fraud Sam into giving them money or Sam’s going to take over looking after his unloved little brother. Tommy would want to stop breaking into his office though and escaping by transforming into a bird though. Sam’s storyline is hardly the most exciting aspect of the show but it will be interesting to see where it goes.


Well, well, well. Last time I looked, Tara was vampirephobic but in her opening scene from this episode she’s off having sex with dead Franklin Mott. And really what kind of sex is it?…Franklin is snarling away while Tara’s eyelids are fluttering like crazy. Is he glamouring her? Tara quickly comes to her senses though, tells Franklin this is only a one night stand and leaves out the door.

Tara really deserves the award for Worst Friend Ever. Seriously, Sookie sweetly organises Eggs’ funeral and allows Tara to move back in with her and while the two girls make-up in a beautiful sentimental scene, Tara allows herself to be glamoured by Franklin and invites another piece of evul into Sookie’s house. All the same, I’m liking Tara this season. She’s not half as whiny as I expected she would be and still has a decent supply of snark.


Jason’s storyline was pretty much filler for this episode. Even though he saw Crystal last episode, rather than move that storyline forward, he’s obsessed with being a cop. While his scenes were full of Jason being a hilarious dumb redneck, they didn’t really push the storyline forward. Jason had more dreams and imagined seeing bullet holes in everyone’s heads, he failed his police exam at the end but that was it. Nothing significant happened. Except he may have convinced Hoyt to move on from Jessica but “she can’t handle (Hoyt’s) heat”, something Jason learned a long time from some of his girlfriends.



Speaking of Jessica, her scenes were as usual short lived but full of wit and charm thanks to the way Deborah Ann Woll plays her. Turns out it was Franklin who hid the trucker’s body, leaving it outside without a head for Hoyt, Jason and Lafayette to find. Poor old Bud completely lost it then because everytime they clear away one body, another two show up. He’s not wrong there, the poor Sherrif in the last two months has had to deal with the murders of Maudette Pickens, Dawn, Gran, the three rogue vampires and their fangbanger, Amy, René, Miss Jeanette, Daphne and Eggs. Phew!

The scenes between Jessica and Franklin were dark comedy gold and something True Blood does so well. I loved when Jessica bared her fangs at Franklin, expecting to scare him off, and he sort of sarcastically bared his own back. He then proceeded to take out the trucker’s head and played around with it, leading Jessica to scream at it. Realising how suspicious that made her look, she kind of shrugs and says “Well it is a head.”

There was also a great scene where Jessica acted like an annoyingly little sister or cousin by ringing Pam, hence interrupting Pam’s oral sex session with Yvetta. That has to be one of the standout scenes of the episode.


This was by far the most interesting storyline of the episode. I loved the whole flashback with Bill returning to his wife, discovering his son’s death and for Bill’s wife to realise that he’s something unnatural when blood instead of water was streaming from his eyes. It was all highly emotional, the 1870s set pieces were fantastic and credit needs to be given to Stephen Moyer, Mariana Klaveno and Shannon Lucio for making what can only be a fictional scene seem really harrowing. We also got to see a softer side to Lorena in the flashback, glamouring away the trauma Bill’s wife received and helping Bill bury his son. Plus, she looked super hot in her old style Southern wear. Maybe I share Bill’s love of corsets too.

Of course, Bill isn’t feeling very sympathetic towards Lorena and here comes the talking point of the episode. Believing he must embrace his vampire nature and being forced to join forces with Russell in order to protect Sookeh, Bill loses it with Lorena. Lorena is clearly obsessed with Bill and is strangely turned on by his anger. She whispers “Make love to me”. Bill shouts back “AH WEEHL NEVAH!” but then throws Lorena onto the bed and puts his dead pecker inside her. Whether Lorena has forced him to do this or not is unclear but Bill hates her so much that he actually twists her head around so she resembles this:

Lorena is loving this though and sweetly coos at Bill while spitting blood from her mouth “Oh Beehl, ah so loooove you!” The scene is harrowing, twisted and really shows how far True Blood will go with their sex scenes.


I loved it. It might not be clear from my rambling but I really thought this was a standout episode from True Blood. Definitely very interesting and really has me excited for Episode 4. What did you guys think?

Quotes from the episode:




Hoyt: “What is the legal blood alcohol limit in Louisiana?”

Jason: “When you’re drunk?”


Hoyt: You need to know this, Jason!

Jason: “I don’t need to know it. ‘Cause if it’s on the sample test it’s not on the real thing. Everybody knows that.”


Eric: “Got your rug wet!”


Russell: It’s like Armageddon in here anytime someone chips a dessert glass.”


Eric: “Well, it would’ve healed a lot faster if you had…”

Sookie: “I will never fall for that again.” 

Eric: “Maybe next time you shoot me.”


Bud: “I’ve had it with this shit. Every time we clear one murder, two more spring up. It’s like crab grass. Forty-three years and what have I got to show for it? Gaps in my brain and polyps in my ass!”


Pam (to Yvetta): “Lie back, sweetheart, and think of Estonia.”


Terry (to Arlene): “It’s not me, it’s you. If I had a nickel for everytime I heard that…I would have 15 nickels.”


Jason: “I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

Lafayette: “That’s new.”



Pam (to Jessica): “So you went to the hypothetical hardware store and got the theoretical chainsaw…”

P.S.: I was also right. Arlene is pregnant with René’s baby but has lied to Terry and said it’s his, much to his delight. That’s gonna come back and bite her in the ass.

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