Justin Bieber is a ‘fan’ of Britain’s Got Talent auditionee Michael Collings. Allegedly. This must be the twaddle story of the week so far.
Actually, what I’ve noticed is that “is a fan of” is the latest game lazy journalists play when thinking up something to fill their newspapers. And Justin Bieber isn’t just a fan of a hitherto unknown guitarist in an ugly orange hoodie! Oh no! Play the Google game of “Justin Bieber is a fan of…” and you’ll discover that our fluffy-haired Canadian warbler is a fan of just about anything that’s in the papers.
A few months back Justin was a fan of Johnson Beharry, a contestant on the UK show Dancing On Ice. Or was it Laura Hamilton? Because a Canadian teenager who’s insanely popular in the USA has got the time to watch a glitzy British reality TV show. He’s also fond of Cheryl Cole (naturally), and Willow Smith’s music. And I love this one the best: he single-handedly got The Hard Times Of RJ Berger renewed by MTV. If you believe this fansite report.
I’m not hating on the Bieber, by the way. I just don’t believe that he says half of these things. It seems like an incredibly easy article to write, and of course it’s handy for the people being talked about to have Bieber’s ‘seal of approval’.
As for Collings, well I can’t believe we’re playing this game on Britain’s Got Talent again. This show is becoming tedious beyond belief, to the point where every year we get footage of some plain-looking auditionee who walks onstage to smirks and muffled derision. And then they perform, and it’s a revelatory moment. And the judges (Amanda Holden should honestly know better by now) gasp and exclaim how wonderful the person’s performance was and how they’d never have guessed since the person is so damned ugly.
The one time this genuinely moved me was when Paul Potts came out on stage and won BGT in its first year. Sadly for Paul, the experience of being surprised by an ordinary person with an extraordinary talent came to be known as “the Susan Boyle moment”. The hairy Scottish usurper scored a phenomenal nine bazillion YouTube views, eclipsing Paul’s more subtle and moving talents. And probably only because some producer had ordered a second helping of Pottsy’s ‘moment’.
My thoughts on Collings are that he’s got a reasonable talent. The trick of auditioning in hideous clothes and looking super-ordinary always goes some way toward lowering your expectations anyway. As long as the auditionee doesn’t wet themselves onstage while juggling three mangy cats, the performance is always going to be considered a win. Even if it’s really not.
Hey, but as long as Justin Bieber loves him….