Er…rejoice everybody! Twilight, the world’s most boring supernatural romance ever is due to have it’s third installment, Eclipse, come out this year. And the first full-length trailer for Eclipse has only just been released, presumably sparking a frenzy of excitement in teenagers and other saddos who can’t differentiate good literature from 500 pages of depressing broodiness.
Check out the trailer for an example of how this movie will suck your soul dry…
Now look, I’m a fan of vampire fiction – books, movies, television series’. I lap them up. I love the immortals!
But what’s up with gloom-meister general, Mister Edward Cullen, who’s happy to marry teenage happiness-vacuum Bella Swan, but not to make her into a vampire so they can enjoy the benefits of immortality together? What’s that about Edward – are you afraid of real committment?
All the usual ‘threats’ to their tepid love are back – the Volturi, Jacob Black and his romantic omnipresent abs, and that ginger vampire what wants Bella dead for reasons that make me yawn. How will our star-crossed Romeo and Juliet navigate the obstacles that love has set in their way? Will we get to the end of yet another Twilight movie with our own pulses intact? I hope so.