X-Factor: 100th and 101th Episodes

Is there really any need for a cavalcade for goodness sake, they are not Presidents! And think of the environment! Richard the scary-eyed singer songwriter of peace songs. Just told work he’s bunked off, lol. Very energetic, some rhythm there – have heard worse – but no. Even Cheryl’s been booed. Nice Shawl, Maggie Aboud – came in handy to stuff in peoples ears because that noise she issued was excrutiating. Morris, 76, has 800 female fans in Southend alone. Poor Delilah just got murdered a second time. I’ve blocked Chelsey Fletcher from my mind. On the other hand, Ethan the American is niiiiiiice. Think he can do better, song didn’t stretch him – think Simons feels the same. Fay Bray thinks it’s Miss World – I want to work with children and animals and do good blah blah blah – but then it turns out that is her nature. Can someone tell Dermot to put his tongue away. Comes across as one of those who just want to be famous and doesn’t care what for BUT she does have a strong voice, not particularly musical, but potential with a voice coach and a stylist … TreyC I thought a bit screechy, not convinced, there’s another rocker in the shape of Carl Lewis (No, not that one) Harmony Hood my fave so far, did actually sound like they said on the tin or namebadge, whatever … Naticia wants to be a global superstar *screeches to a halt* even her mate’s laughing. Gianni – just plain weird; Jackson – not a pop prince; Simone – nice looking, lovely pecs, can’t sing. 80 year old Eileen wants Simon as a toy boy and he lets her come back again tomorrow to try again. Why not – Dame Vera’s at Number One! Can’t read my writing – Kandy Rain? Not particularly strong, potential. Indie Olaye – sounded superb, that one line we heard, as with Stacy, who only got two words out. Dominic is back – thought he should have gone through before, two years ago. More mature, nice jumper. Good choice ‘With You’ sweet sweet voice  – the pick of tonight so far, along with Nicole Lawrence, who I thought was going well and looking forward to the chorus when Simon stopped her! Wants it for all the right reasons – to fill the Albert Hall, full orchestra – lovely lady – soul momma – standing ovation following If I Ain’t Got You – I disagree with Simon, not a club singer. And finally, It Takes Two – lovely couple – quite emotional really – or it could be my bum still hurts from my bike ride earlier.

Missed the start of 101, but probably did myself a favour, judging by Gerard’s comments! Daniel with the Mohawk was in One True Voice – but he seems down on his luck – I thought a couple of top 10 hits would set you up pretty well …missed a bit more as hubby played a trick on me, changing the station while I was out of the room. Git. Nicole Jackson I thought excellent, Siren, who we all know by now could be Leona’s sisters, Graziella has a rawness I like … Casyr …No Air – that’s how it sounded. Steve Lee – When You Believe you can sing, get a second opinion …Melody could not have been less aptly named, Paula paid for ten hours of singing lessons – she’s been ripped off, Simon’s giving her a refund. Baptism of fire for autistic agoraphobic Scott with You Raise Me Up – a damn good effort I think – kudos to Lynsey, his singing teacher. He won’t be getting a refund. Eileen’s back – like a sick headache (her words, lol) sounds worse this time but reckons she could show Simon or thing or two – she wasn’t talking about singing! Oh I say – very smart M&G End of the Road, sounded good, as did Trucolurz, Project A and Daniel – crikey, almost classical with West Side Story’s “Somewhere”. Rachel I wasn’t sure about, Amie, confident but nervous and excited. Simon looks bored but there’s potential there – Cheryl stops her, it’s too big a song so she stands by her while she goes for the Girls Aloud song. And finally we have Curtis the young offender who is promising if he drops the attitude, as Simon said: “Zip it, don’t be a smartarse.” The auditions are over; it’s off to boot camp and hopefully next week we’ll see a bit more than just those tantalising glimpses of some terrific singers.

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