Continuing tonight’s theme of judges’ houses on [[The X Factor 2010|X Factor]], we travel to Marbella with Mr Simon Cowell and his gobby best pal Sinitta.
You can always count on Sinitta to wear something completely inappropriate and revealing, and this year she doesn’t disappoint, with what looks like a swimsuit and what one commenter on Twitter called a head-ashtray.
Simon, of course, takes all this in his stride, knowing as all friends of truly kooky attention seekers do that you should pretend not to notice their outlandish costumes. He’s got bigger fish to fry anyway. He’s not especially pleased to have the groups, and he doesn’t want to work with people he doesn’t believe in. Oo-er.
- Twem: The French duo perform Kelly Rowland’s When Love Takes Over, but fail to really make a mark. Especially after Diva Fever spectacularly wipe the floor with them. But more on that later.
- Belle Amie: A group that was put together from failed solo female singers. They sing George Michael’s Faith. It starts out rather tepid, but gets better as they go along. Statistically, they don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of surviving the first week, but Simon seems to warm to them.
- Princes and Rogues: One wag on Twitter commented that Princes and Rogues are what happens when hipster goes Primark. They rock some very overt geek chic for their performance of Video Killed The Radio Star, but I find myself disliking them for being slightly too full of themselves.
- Husstle: A delightful group of young ladies who enjoy showing off their taut navels. They sing Tainted Love for Simon and Sinitta, but Simon suggests that they’re “One girl and four backup singers.”
- The Reason: Everyone’s favourite singing tradesmen, The Reason are a fantastic boyband, but the all-male groups are all starting to worryingly blur together. I can’t tell them apart.
- FYD: These guys do a storming version of Beggin‘ that has all the production values of a Glee routine – dancing, singing, awesome vocal harmonies. But Simon pours cold water on them when he says he’s “Not sure whether they’re dancers or singers.” But this is hardly fair since Simon insisted on everybody having dance lessons at boot camp this year.
- Diva Fever. The extraordinarily camp one calls Simon “dahlin” and Simon’s face drops. The thing with Diva Fever is that every time you set your expectations for “train wreck” and they always turn out to be quite good. And they are quite talented, I can’t take that away from them.
- 1 Direction: The manufactured boyband sing Torn by Natalie Imbruglia (who incidentally looked gorgeous as Dannii Minogue’s second fiddle tonight). But to be totally honest, I can’t even remember the performance, save for the drawn-out story about one of them getting bitten by a fish. Which, by the way, has to be the lamest X Factor sob story of all time.
So folks, that’s my take on Simon Cowell’s group this week – what did you think of them? Any favourites for the live shows or even *gasp* to win?