I’ve been pondering the best way to tell you all about the Judges’ Houses episode of X Factor that aired tonight. What I’m gonna do is take each group and give you a bit of a recap of what happened, and my take on the singers. And let’s start back to front – with Cheryl Cole’s group, who were technically the last to air tonight.
Cheryl was assisted as a judge by Black Eyed Peas genius Will.I.Am. Will wore a big pair of white framed glasses that looked like Kanye West’s but with the venetian blinds pulled up.
To be totally honest, I’m not completely comfortable with Will.I.Am helping shortlist singers on X Factor. I think the Black Eyed Peas are one of the most phenomenal groups to have hit the pop charts in the last decade, and for him to become part of the faceless machine that churns out forgettable pap makes me a little irritated. But hey ho…
- Rebecca Ferguson (Cliché file: Young scouser mum who has no self-confidence) sings Fireflies by Owl City. Gotta say, there’s not much remarkable about this, except for the fact that everything Rebecca sings ends up sounding like a Norah Jones track. She’s gonna have to fight to stay relevant in this competition, because not even Norah Jones sells records like Norah Jones anymore.
- Gamu Nhengu, who I find slightly odd-but-likeable, and who made Louis cry, tells us: “I can be whoever I want on stage, but without losing who I am.” The statement confuses me on a number of levels. She sings Pixie Lott’s Cry Me Out and Cheryl likes her tone. She’d have liked it better on autotune.
- Annastacia Baker is a beautiful, striking and imposing black woman with a gorgeous, smoky tone to her voice. Frustratingly, if Treyc Cohen isn’t getting through, there’s not much chance of Annastacia getting through either.
- Raquel Thomas – great voice, singing Ordinary People, but she’s styled terribly and just on her looks is almost completely forgettable.
- Keri Arrindell. Ditto. But with bigger hair.
- Katie Waissel does her performance wearing awful, offensive eyelashes that make her eyes look like a butterfly sanctuary. She ditzes around for the camera and talks a lot of shit. Seriously, nothing this girl says makes sense. And she pulls a very fake ’emotional moment’ during the song, asking for a second chance and generally freaking Cheryl out. Here’s the thing: she’s becoming annoying already with these clearly fake gimmicks. She’s got a good voice, she doesn’t need to act the ass to succeed.
- Treyc Cohen. Looks hot, but is wearing the weirdest shoulder pads ever. Cheryl makes her sing Ave Maria in an attempt to channel Beyonce. But it’s screechy and awful.
- Cher Lloyd gets to close the show with her unique brand of rap-singing. Except she’s got something wrong with her, becomes over-emotional, glares at the pianist and generally does everything except sing. Just like Katie Waissel, I feel that Cher should have been showcasing her talent rather than sobbing at every opportunity. She’s edgy and young and creative, yet she barely sang a note. Grrr.
That’s my take on the Under 28 ladies of [[The X Factor 2010|X Factor]] everybody – now what’s your opinion?