The judges have a plan – to put the best singers through. Or not. We’ll see, shall we, there are only 24 places available and 200 acts wanting them. Their first challenge, sort themselves into teams of three, with each act to take lead vocal, pick a song and rehearse. Some are gone within the first few minutes, we don’t even hear a note. Alesha deliberately picked two duff duos to make herself sound good – there’s popular, love. She’ll go far, at least all the way to the Sugababes. They’re shocking so far, all completely unprepared. The red headed girl with the odd looking dancer sounded ok. Graziellea, Shar and Shaniece, made a good team, if the vocals were a bit dodgy. Lucie, Kandy Rain, Jamie all through. Miss Fitz turn up without Jemma and it’s bigger news now than anything else – where is she? The other bands are all whooping with delight, obviously, because Miss Fitz were the band to beat. Rumours suggest she’s been offered a contract with Disney – Good Luck, Jemma, if it’s true. Those twin boys, amusing the first time round, were a pain this time but they’re through. Treyc, Olly, Shanna through – William, our older wannabe is out, he sang his song clutching a piece of scrap with the lyrics on it! Room One are through – had spotted Danyl, Olly and Lucie in there. Room Two, including Shanna, are out. Room Three are a No, Room Four the lucky ones, spotted Jamie and Digger Dagger Stacey. Graziella, Shar and Shaniece didn’t make it individually, but the judges are letting them through as a group.
Next challenge, choose a song out of 25 listed – don’t pick a safe song though – actually, ignore that, pick a song that’s too big for you, no, scrap that, pick a safe song and change it completely, no, then again, pick a good song and sing the melody but don’t be cheesy – goddammit judges – MAKE YOUR MINDS UP!!! If you don’t want safe songs, don’t put them on the list! If you think some songs are too big, don’t put them on the list! Jeez *rolls eyes* Still no sign of Jemma – don’t even know if Miss Fitz made it through. Joseph, Ethan, Daniel Fox, Lucie, Rachel Adeji, Duane Lamonte, Danyl, should all be through, along with Nicole Lawrence – she told you, she’s not going! Great performance. Club Singer, pffffft! Look at the reaction from her peers!
Boot Camp Two – still no sign of Jemma – is she going to make a shock appearance just when they’re being told they’re going home (because Simon loves all that “You know, I think I’ve got it wrong” lark, doesn’t he! The scaryeyed student bloke, Behrouz – oh well, we can all use a laugh … it took a while to guess the song, Simon gives him the finger, sideways, as in, get off. Treyc and Dominic were excellent and Miss Frank (Shar, Graziella and Shaniece) do a Gangsta rap version of Wishing on a Star – which in the time frame is pretty amazing, but they gave most of the vocal to the weakest of the three. Many others I just didn’t hear enough – Jamie Afro must surely go through, along with Danyl, this could be year of the Rock God, although the judges think Danyl over played it (see note above re safe/not safe).
Called back to the stage and the big shock is Dominic not going through – frankly, he was the best young male singer there – Rikki and Lloyd both struggled, Dominic was sweet as – Dannii’s upset (but then he should have gone through before and that was her fault) chin up, Dom – seek out the traditional methods – singing coach, cut a cd, get a my space/twitter page, hire yourself out –my niece makes good money doing that – these wannabes who think X-Factor is the be all and end all to my mind don’t want it enough. If singing is your life, make it your life – don’t expect it to fall in your lap on a talent show. Who’d heard of Jay Sean a year ago?
So for the Girls, mentored by Dannii, we have Stacey McLean, Despina Pilavakis, Rachel Adeji – oops, upsadaisy girl, Lucie Jones, Stacey Solomon and Nicole Jackson ; Cheryl has the boys – they weren’t pleased much, were they – all those teenage hormones – Lloyd Daniels, Ethan Boroain, Rikki Loney, Daniel Fox, Joseph McElderry and Duane Lamonte.
Simon gets the Over 25’s, the strongest category with Danyl Johnson, Jamie Archer, Nicole Lawrence, Treyc Cohen, Olly Murrs and Daniel Pearce; Louis makes a brave face of being given quite possibly the worst line up of groups ever in the history of the show: Miss Frank, Kandy Rain, John and Edward, Project A, De-tour, Tru-Colourz. Even the other three judges are cracking up. Of course, we now know that Trucolourz are being booted out cos they’re too young – cue Miss Fitz replacing??? Apparently not, it’s Harmony Hood. Shame.
My final twelve on what I’ve seen so far? Rachel, Lucie and Stacey S; Ethan, Joseph and Duane; Danyl, Jamie and Treyc. The groups I just didn’t see enough.