X-Factor: Rise of the Misfits – and rise of the Miss Fitz!

Yes, I know, I’m very late. I have a life, what can I say, other than “So?”


This first part had all the makings of a total set-up – we all know that the judges don’t sit through all those queues so why the hell do we have to suffer the Alan Walton, Krisztina, Andrew Ellis, Children of the Earth and Simon?


Benrouz could at least hold a note – but my heart is heavy at the thought of another Chico …the crowd like him, they’re going to say yes, except Simon. I found myself on his side throughout this show –


Michael Hough? No, Cheryl, it didn’t suit him at all. Dreadful. Oh, Stop it NOW Louis – Rochelle Morrison, amazing? They’ve lost it, finally. She was crap. And Victoria Hughes. NO NO NO – oh, please FFS – have Louis, Dannii and Cheryl had bungled ear transplants this week or what?


Come on Rozelle Philip, show ’em how it’s done with One Night Only, big song, bit shaky in places but this is more like it, needs some coaching. Best so far and properly likeable.


The Stunners, on the other hand – where do they find them? Why don’t their families stop them? I mean, there’s confidence and then there’s delusional – how Dermot keeps a straight face is surely one of life’s great mysteries?  The judges and the audience all look as though Harry Potter has just hit them with ‘Stupefy’ – maybe that’s the effect the Stunners were actually going for?


We move on to Checkout – Melody Who – Double Trouble – Priceless – I’m not sure if that was the last band or the value of those acts – I’ve nothing to say, really, words fail me.  


Oh thank God – Miss Fitz, including who I felt would have given Leona a run had Simon put her through, Jemma – you remember, she auditioned with ‘Summertime’ and Simon said she could sing the phone book – and then didn’t put her through to the live final – best vocal by far that year, in my opinion. Bit concerned when they said they were doing Britney’s Toxic – but wow – a swing version and a total knockout! Totally through, Dermots want a group hug, the sex case. I can insult him, see, cos he had a go at Strictly.


Daryl Markham is this week’s singer with a sad story, he lost his brother and his little nine year old nephew is with him – not the greatest vocal you’ll ever hear, but it was from the heart. He’s through, of course and now the little boy is rushing on stage and I’m a goner; mine are all laughing at me now, hard hearted sods.


Second best performance of the night – Jamie (Afro) Archer sings the Kings of Leon’s Sex on Fire, the audience love it, he’s whipping them up. He’s another showman, his mates are jumping backstage and Simon’s singing along. That’s some top acts already in the first two weeks who can give it some welly live on stage – I agree with Gerard – Charlie Brooker has got it wrong (maybe I’ll tell him on Twitter, what d’you reckon? Will I get a reply? What the hell, I’ll do it for you, dear readers!)

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8 Comments

  1. RandomEnigma

    I know this sounds horrible…but the Daryl Markham guy really annoyed me with his sad story. I mean, I’m not some monster, I feel sorry for him and everything but why is it that every contestant has to milk something bad that happened to them in order to get viewer sympathy.

    I mean here are some typical lines:

    • “I want to do this for my (dead relative) cos (he/she) would be really proud of me if they were still here today…”
    • “I want to win this show cos my mum looked after all us kids and I wanna repay her by buying her a house…”
    • “I want to win this show because I grew up in a disadvantaged area where we don’t ‘ave a lot of oppurtunities to do something like this…”

    …and the list goes on!

    Oh, I know I sound like a heartless bastard but does anyone get where I’m coming from? Why the need for sob stories, they always seem so contrived. Same with that Daryl guy, he talks about his nephew never really opening up to him and then after he sings, his nephew runs on stage and hugs him. I mean it seems so staged!!! I’m not saying it was, it just seemed like it. Then the whole things turns into a big smhaltz fest with Leona Lewis’ Footprints In The Sand and him getting a standing ovation and Simon having this big artificial smile on his face, trying to convince everyone that this is such a heartwarming show when it’s all really commercial!

    Haha and yes I saw that Steve guy on The Xtra Factor. It was hilarious but I did feel very embarassed for the poor guy, I know I’d feel that way if it happened to me on TV in front of 10 million viewers.

  2. Gerard McGarry

    Haha and yes I saw that Steve guy on The Xtra Factor. It was hilarious but I did feel very embarassed for the poor guy, I know I’d feel that way if it happened to me on TV in front of 10 million viewers.

    Yeah, but if you were his age, you might just be proud that it still works!

    Same with that Daryl guy, he talks about his nephew never really opening up to him and then after he sings, his nephew runs on stage and hugs him. I mean it seems so staged!!!

    If it seems staged…maybe it is. Let’s put it this way – no healthy non-bereaved fully-employed auditionee has ever had a child run out to be with them on stage, have they? Someone on the Unreality TV forum said that they could almost see the producer’s hand shoving the kid across the stage!

    1. RandomEnigma

      That’s where they go too far. It really puts me off shows like this when someone on The X-Factor or Britain’s Got Talent have a handful of their contestants issue sob stories like that! It’s so so contrived! And cringeworthy!

  3. Anonymous

    What happened to Gemma?? Why wasn’t she at the Bootcamp performance? I’m in the US so I can only watch the videos on youtube…

    1. Anonymous

      I heard she was given a job offer in the US but I’m not sure where. Someone said soemthing about Disney.

  4. Anonymous

    I heard she was given a job offer in the US but I don’t know where. Someone said something about Disney.

  5. Jaye

    Hopefully she’ll be on the second show tonight – Xfactor are having a Sunday show too now – presumbly they wanted to go up against Strictly on a Sunday too – then Strictly binned theirs! MIss Fitz for me, from what I’ve seen, are the outstanding group act. 

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