X-Factor: Three out of three for Simon

It’s ‘Diva’ week – I’m literally just watching the videos, so I’ve no idea about any dramas and gossip this week – which means I can be completely unbiased of course!


Stacey sings a song that’s been with me all week At Last, which is completely gorgeous but Stacey doesn’t seem too comfortable with it, not her strongest vocal. She needs stagecraft lessons. Oh, I’m agreeing with Simon on the very first one – that’s always worrying.


Jamie and Hurt – brilliant, loved it, a terrific vocal – vulnerability and strength. Always concerned about the tea towel – is he waitering somewhere later? A high five for Simon, and why not – spot on song choice!


Rikki, and Respect and Cheryl doing to the boys what Dannii is doing to the girls – handing it to Simon on a Wedgwood, gold plated, diamond encrusted plate. No chance for him to actually sing, he is not Aretha – did the best he could given a lack of actual lyrics. Never going to set the world alight. May be in trouble tonight.


Jodward camp it up again with Britney’s Oops I Did It Again and it’s a travesty that they’ll probabaly stay in while we lose singers who are being given the wrong songs. This was wrong on every level except for the fact that people, including the judges, are all smiling. What can you do?


Lloyd gives a credible performance of Bleeding Love – I couldn’t remember what it was at first. Pleasant enough, no firecracker. Oh, for goodness sake Cheryl – accept the criticism, think about it and start giving your guys the right songs.


Danyl and Simon showing Cheryl and Dannii the way to go – an unknown Whitney song that Danyl can wrap his tonsils around. Understated, building it up, stands on it’s own merits, fantastic performance. I Didn’t Know My Own Strength – is that what it’s called? Great choice.


Joe has Whitney’s Where do Broken Hearts Go, and for him, it’s too easy! Gorgeous voice, he can sing anything and proving he’s a real contender. Simon’s singing along!


Rachel and I initially thought, oh yes – Beyonce – but it’s pitched too high isn’t it? This was the night for giving her a proper Whitney belter, Dannii, for crying out loud – what are you like? Will be in trouble again. What a waste.


Miss Frank, all so different and yet so together. Not vocally fantastic, but a enjoyable performance, I like that rawness still. First time I’ve disagreed with Simon!


Olly – and now for something completely different! This whole feel and vocal were spot on for Olly, even his dancing! Fab stuff, just earned his place with that Tina Turner song I’ve never heard before!


Lucie – How Will I know? Another bad, bad choice – far too stylised for Whitney – another one who should have been given something she could stand still and belt out and show off to. There’s a difference between songs and pop music tracks: Song – something a singer could sing acappella and it be magical and keep you spellbound. Pop track – crap without the backing and only attempted by an established artist with a stylised vocal. She’s a great singer and I’ve completely lost interest and I’m writing all this instead. Should have had something like Natalie Cole’s I Live For Your Love – karaoke version here (better vocal than all the girls tonight) – and Rachel should have had At Last, with Stacey given Run To You. Yes, I know they’re all ballads – but how many dance tracks has Leona done?


Who do I apply to for a mentoring job?


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